Archive for Category: "sportswriting"

Balls are getting bigger, new balls needed

Like John Hartson’s testicles, Balls.ie is growing. The growth isn’t tumourous yet, but that’s where you come in.

Ireland’s hottest sports website, this one – dickhead, is looking for interns, writers, cartoonists and bloggers. If you think you can spout acerbic, inflammatory rubbish and link to it in WordPress without crashing the entire site then email us now. We’re also looking for moderators for discussion forums – if you’re nerdy enough and have no social life then feel free to apply. We need you, even if your internet girlfriend doesn’t.

Things will be ramping up in the coming weeks. We are particularly interested in US Sports, GAA, Munster/Leinster one-handed pieces (a euphemism for wanking if you were wondering) and gamers. Come one, come all, just don’t chatroullette it.

Email thegaffer@balls.ie

Introducing Ger Gilroy.


The transfer window has been slammed shut and along with Van Der Vaart, the signing of Ger Gilroy by Balls.ie was one of the final and most daring acts of the close season.

Initially signed to a rolling contract, Gilroy is chomping at the bit, keen to finish with aplomb and make the right noises, here on the www.

Expect boundaries to be broken and nothing to be left unsaid here on balls.ie as Ger Gilroy readies his typewriter.

For those of you who don’t know Kildare’s favourite son(after Jack L) here is a quick bullet pointed summary

  • Founder of the Off The Ball Franchise on Newstalk Radio.
  • Current Sports Editor at Newstalk and Presenter of Weekend Sports Shows.
  • Presenter on RTE and Setanta Sports TV.
  • Avid hurling fan despite hailing from Athy Co. Kildare.
  • Nervy penalty taker…..

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Headline Of The Day

It may not be sport related but it’s unquestionably the headline of the day.

H/T – twitter.com/WillStLeger

Full Article here

Empires of Evil

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There was a typically brilliant essay from Joe Queenan about hating literature that celebrates evil American sports teams- the Yankees , the LA Lakers, Duke- in the New York Times recently.

You have to respect the integrity of a writer who will put down a book because the protagnoist is a Yankees fan. Despite what that they tell you in writing school, there are some people that are beyond empathy. “Stalin would have been a Yankees fan,” Queenen writes.

We also dearly admire that Queenan, despite his Philadelphianess, extends his loathing across the Atlantic, to Manchester United. So true is his hatred that he couldn’t resist thrashing a literary carpetbagging United supporter when in Dublin last year:

“So implacable is my hatred of Man United (glamour-boy David Beckham’s old team) that when I met the gifted mystery writer Val McDermid at the Dublin Writers Festival last year, and found out she was a Manchester United fan — even though she is not from Manchester — I immediately unloaded all my Val McDermid mysteries and started bad-mouthing her work to my friends. I’m dead serious about this stuff.”

Sportswriters of the World: Please Do Better

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Buy this for a start:

Crew Slammer never made Best Sports Stories. He never got farther than the bulletin board at the Fort Worth Press. He was a victim of the industry, for he collided time and again with the mentality ceiling that bears down on every newspaper I know anything about. Nevertheless, I believe that Crew Slammer in his way was a better sportswriter than C. E. McBride, Stanley Woodward, or even Red Smith. He was inquisitive, sardonic, satirical, cynical, opinionated, hedonistic, and what intelligence he had was easily offended. He hated sport. “To watch it,” he thought, “is a deadly bore.” Baseball was something that the twentieth century had a right to do without. Spectator golf ranked in importance with bridge tournaments and Junior League rummage sales. Football, tennis, hockey, and boxing interested him for aesthetic reasons. Crew Slammer fancied that he wrote like Hemingway. A typical lead describing a junior swimming meet would begin, “In the late summer of that year we lived in a house in a village that … “

From ‘Confessions of a Washed-Up Sportswriter’ by Gary Cartwright (h/t Deadspin)