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Remembering The Total Shit-Show That Was 'Wayne Rooney Street Striker'

Mikey Traynor
By Mikey Traynor
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Back in 2008, Coke Zero needed a gimmick to advertise their edgy new drink that they were marketing as Coca Cola's cool, extreme-sports pursuing, urban cola drink cousin.

So the geniuses at Coke and Sky One decided to host a weekly football challenge show where they took the type of kids who play their music really loudly on public transport, and get the guy who invented the term "tekkers" to test them in a series of pointless football challenges.

Occasionally Wayne Rooney himself showed up and did the challenges before giving an awkward interview to the camera.

It was crap. Here are just some of the reasons it was crap:

The whole thing was designed to sell Coke Zero.

And they never let you forget it.

Most of the contestants were little shits.

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And they never let you forget it.

Andy Ansah's awful motivational speeches.

Terribly cringey interviews.

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No, they are not.

Needlessly "urban" locations.

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Skateparks are extreme, and so is Coke Zero.

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Painfully awkward dialogue between Rooney and the Tekkers guy.

Rooney at the best of times is camera sky, and Andy Ansah's cliches just made it worse.

The only parts worth watching were Rooney doing the occasional challenge.

This job title.

We might be picking on Andy Ansah here, but come on..

The worst trophy in television history.

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A golden bottle of Coke Zero.

Stuff like this..

Painful. Just painful.

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The fact that it ran for three seasons.

And changed it's name to Coke Zero Street Striker, because there just wasn't enough Coke Zero.

A truly terrible TV show that nobody has missed. If you feel like punishing yourself, pretty much every episode is on YouTube in parts, but you seriously need to re-asses your life goals if you find yourself watching them.

 

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