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The In-Depth Lies That Irish Fans Need To Tell Themselves Before Euro 2016

Gary Reilly
By Gary Reilly
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It's now just forty days until Ireland take to the Stade de France field and begin what will hopefully one of the best summer's of our lives

It must be said, not all of these may necessarily prove to be lies. We could be hitting the nail on the head and, once Ireland march through the group, we'll promptly change the headline, take out this paragraph and use it as proof of how we knew exactly what was going to happen. However, until that happens, we'll take up the default position of the eternal optimist that was badly damaged by what happened in 2012.

Back then we faced a group with one excellent team, one Italy and one decent team that we still expected to beat for no reason other than we always turn up on the big occasion. What happened happened and there's no need to go into in any great detail but it's left us all a bit wiser and that's not how we want to be approaching this.

So, to help out with that, we've come up with a few choice phrases that you can learn off and sound as if you've given genuine thought to all this rather than simply going in with blind optimism once again.

"Belgium's biggest problem is that Marc Wilmots is an inconsequential figure head that will lose the dressing room"

A classic French collapse waiting to happen if you will. A team of stars that have failed to deliver on the world stage and a coach that has done little other than to step into the perfect job at the perfect time. The work had been put in at grassroots level and Wilmots simply inherited one of the best squads in Europe.

In truth, this is probably among the most delusional things we could be comforting ourselves with. If you were to ask the vast majority of Irish fans who led France to the World Cup in 1998, the name Aimé Jacquet probably wouldn't be a universal response and nor would you expect it to be. Similarly a fair amount probably wouldn't remember that Roger Lemerre took over and led them to Euro 2000 glory.

It's certainly not that managerial direction is unimportant at international level but when you have a group of players as talented as Belgium at the moment, it doesn't take a world renowned manager to shape them into an excellent team. Wilmots may have been fortunate to step into the role when he did but if we're going into the Belgian clash hoping that Martin O'Neill's relative tactical nous will bring us through, we may be in trouble.

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"Italy are a team in serious decline, you need only look at their striking options"

Pelle, Zaza, Eder, Gabbiadini. Italy's centre forward options this summer do not exactly compare favourably to previous Italian squads. Antonio Conte goes into the tournament knowing that goals are unlikely to come from his number 9. With Mario Balotelli a persona non grata with the Italian coach, it's unlikely we're going to get a repeat of 2012.

It's quite possible that Graziano 'Not nearly as good as Shane Long' Pelle will lead the line for Antonio Conte this summer. We're calling it now that John O'Shea will have him in his pocket but the truth is that it's the other attackers that Ireland have to worry about. Conte will likely line up with two wide attackers playing off a centre forward. Lorenzo Insigne coming off the back of an impressive year for Napoli and Domenico Berardi (if he's selected) would cause Ireland no shortage of problems with their pace and technical ability.

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The out and out striking options may not be great, but we probably shouldn't be counting on an easy clean sheet just yet.

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"The Belgian hype is purely based off a world ranking system that has no basis in reality"

We've looked at this before and, it must be said, the FIFA World Rankings are an awful lot of shite. However, that's not to say that they're completely off the wall either.

Unlike the first entry above, this is instead centred on the belief that regardless of who's steering the ship, Belgium aren't actually as good as everyone is making out anyway. We won't even bother listing off the ream of players that they have at their disposal in every area of the field because that would just be counter productive.

via BBC

The TL;DR version is that Belgium are rather good. We can keep spouting that line all we want, but it doesn't actually make it true.

"Stop Zlatan, stop Sweden"

There's a very significant possibility that Sweden are this year's Croatia for Ireland. We always knew that they were a good side but considering the task of Italy and Spain, they were put to the back of our minds and considered a very possible three points.

The reality was rather different of course and there's an understandable worry that Zlatan steps in for Mario Mandzukic and we're off to a hiding from the very start. The difference between Croatia and Sweden is that the Swedes genuinely don't have the quality of players that put us to the sword in 2012.

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Outside Zlatan, there's no one that you can really say we should be overly worried about. Come to think of it, we've talked ourselves around to this one. Like Pelle, John O'Shea will have him in his back  pocket and we'll get off to the perfect start.

"Conte's mind will be off the job"

Look at him there, looking longingly off into the future. His mind is on Stamford Bridge. We have them beat already.

"The Italian's are going to miss Marchisio more than anyone is realising"

We've already looked at the paucity of Italian options up front but Antonio Conte's greatest challenge will be filling out his central midfield without Claudio Marchisio. With Pirlo retired, Italy were already one midfielder down from the team that dispatched us with little fuss in 2012. However, the injury to Marchisio is one that could have quite a bit more impact on the Italian side than many were expecting.

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Pirlo may have been the one to draw a lot of attention but much like his work for Juve on the way to the Champions League final last year, Marchisio is one who may not get all the plaudits but is crucial to the way Conte sets up his side. The supremely talented Marco Verratti will take up some of the mantle but Marchisio will be missed and it's an area that, if we get a Germany level performance and he's able to shut down Verratti from deep, James McCarthy could be crucial to Ireland's chances.

Let's whisper it, if things go our way, we can get at the Italians.

See also: Intriguing Proof Of Why The Euro 2016 Draw Is Unfair From The Start

 

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