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NFL Player Pens Sensational Letter To Donald Trump Telling Him About "Locker Room Talk"

Gavin Cooney
By Gavin Cooney
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Prominent haircut Donald Trump is currently disgracing democracy as he runs to be the Chief Executive of America, and this journey to the heart of darkness hit its latest, unbelievable low with his overheard comments regarding his treatment of women, in which he bragged that he would "grab her by the pussy", and that "when you’re a star, they let you do it".

Private Eye summed up the absurd concept of the Donald today:

Trump "apologised" for his comments by referring to it as "locker room talk", which seems to be the U.S. version of Richard Keys appearing on BT Sport to say that his mistreatment of women was just "b****r".

While we've yet to get a cogent takedown of Keysie's b****r, former Minnesota Vikings' punter and current Deadspin commentator Chris Kluwe has written a superb letter to Trump for Vox, in which he tells Trump of what actually constitutes "locker room talk".

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We recommend you read it in full over on Vox, but here are a few excerpts, beginning with Kluwe telling Trump why he's wrong:

You're wrong, and only the type of wrong an over-tanned ham hock like yourself can accomplish, plummeting past the morass of gross incivility into the abyss of depraved sociopathy.

How do I know this? Simple. I was in an NFL locker room for eight years, the very definition of the macho, alpha male environment you're so feebly trying to evoke to protect yourself, and not once did anyone approach your breathtaking depths of arrogant imbecility.

Oh, sure, we had some dumb guys, and some guys I wouldn't want to hang out with on any sort of regular basis, but we never had anyone say anything as foul and demeaning as you did on that tape, and, hell, I played a couple years with a guy who later turned out to be a serial rapist. Even he never talked like that.

Kluwe then details what the Vikings did speak about in the locker room. This is a highlight:

We talk about women (and sex!). We talk about wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, fans, and groupies. Most guys respect women, some guys don't, but never have I heard anyone use your particularly disgusting brand of sadism that refers to women as objects and not people.

Even the most debauched club-hopping party animal talks about women more civilly than you. We don't let each other talk like that about women, because it lessens our humanity, and even though we're modern-day gladiators, we still hold ourselves accountable to the idea of basic human decency.

And here's the zinger:

See, that's another big thing we talk about in the locker room. Accountability. In a professional sports environment, all of us are accountable to each other. We're a team. If one of us messes up on the field, it affects everyone.

Just like if a president makes a bad decision, it affects everyone. And do you know, Donald, the only way the team wins games? The only way we win is if, in the locker room, we're willing to accept that accountability, address our mistakes, and work as hard as we possibly can to make sure those mistakes don't happen again.

Superb.

Read the whole thing here.

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[Vox]

See Also: Fans Rejoice As One Of Wrestling's Favourite Sons Is Set To Return After 12 Years

 

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