Last night when I saw the news that LeBron James had agreed a deal with Warner Bros., just weeks after the studio reclaimed the trademark for "Space Jam", thus fueling speculation that a sequel to Space Jam is on the cards, I experienced a wide range of emotions.
You see, Space Jam was more than just a movie for me as a kid. The film was released when I was seven years old, and that summer I went to see it no less than eight times in my local cinema. The first two times I insisted my Mother take me, then when she wouldn't go anymore I made my older brother be my chaperone, but eventually I managed to convince my parents to allow me to go on my own because the cinema was so close and nobody else would go with me anymore.
So yeah, I was big into Space Jam. As a kid I was fascinated by the NBA, and when the basketball world met the Looney Tunes universe, coupled with the pumping rhythm of the Quad City DJ's and their iconic Space Jam anthem, I was hooked. You would think that the announcement of a sequel to arguably my favourite movie of all time would have me thrilled right?
Well, not really. The emotion I found myself consumed with was fear, fear in the fact that almost every series reboot is complete garbage and fear in the thought that the Space Jam legacy could be ruined, or tarnished by a half assed effort.
So I got to thinking, who would be the perfect cast to make me go and see this movie on day one, pushing children out of my way in the queue at the cinema in the process.
LeBron James as Michael Jordan
This is inevitable, and there's nothing anyone can do. I don't hate LeBron, at all, but I do have questions as to whether he can do what is needed to make this movie not turn into an absolute cringefest. His inclusion will be an issue for many, but I'm giving him a chance. Please don't let me down LeBron.
Chris Pratt as Bill Murray
Jonah Hill as Wayne Knight
Come on, you know you can see Jonah Hill as the nerdy assistant to LeBron james. He wouldn't have to do much different to his excellent performance in Moneyball, apart from possibly being inflated by helium and then farting his way around a basketball arena like Knight in the original.
Chris Paul as Monstar #1
Look, Steph Curry is far too nice to be a Monstar. The NBA's MVP would probably be the most notable absentee from The Monstars, but he doesn't suit the persona of the team from Moron Mountain.
James Harden as Monstar #2
That beard on a Monstar was just meant to be. Harden fits the persona, his game is something the Monstars would surely look to steal, this one is a banker.
Kevin Durant as Monstar #3
He's just got to be in there. Picture a tall skinny Monstar with long gangly arms dunking and throwing 3's up in everyone's face. KD has to be included.
Blake Griffin as Monstar #4
For the larger Monstars, they are going to want the power-drunks and rebounding of Blake Griffin, the second Clipper in my Monstars dream team.
Dwight Howard as Monstar #5
Again, in terms of physical shape, the Monstars need someone like Dwight on the court to lock down the post. It's going to be damn tough for Daffy Duck and his mates to grab a rebound with Griffin and Howard Monstars on the boards.
Bill Murray as absolutely anyone.
He simply has to be involved in some capacity, any capacity, even just a cameo. I love Bill Murray, I love Space Jam. Space Jam wouldn't have been Space Jam without Bill, so if he's not included in the sequel then I may not even watch it.
So there you have it, I hope you enjoyed my casting and feel free to let us know of any suggestions you would like to see included.
