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The Weird & Wonderful World Of Carlos Carvahal Analogies

The Weird & Wonderful World Of Carlos Carvahal Analogies
Eoin Lyons
By Eoin Lyons
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One of the more refreshing appointments in the Premier League has undoubtedly been Portugese manager Carlos Carvahal. As well as turning over Arsenal and Liverpool the former Sheffield Wednesday man has provided us with some colourful analogies during his short time in England. Here are some of his best bon mots.

When asked about whether he expected Riyad Mahrez to play when the Swans were set to play Leicester

I have a house & do not know what my neighbours do. I look after my family & my dogs. I say hello to them & wave but that's it. It's not my problem.

On successfully stopping Liverpool's attack on their way to a 1-0 win against the Reds

Liverpool are a formula 1, if you put formula 1 in London, 4 o clock in the traffic, it will not run very fast.

Basically an eloquent way of saying 'we parked the bus'.

1st musical analogy: After coming back to win 3-2 against Bolton

Heavy metal analogies:

In the first half, they controlled the music of the game. They put on calm music and the team, the fans were listening to the music. We followed the melody of the opponents. We were not happy on the break. We tried to put on different music in the second half. We put on a little bit of rock and we opened them up. We took risks and tried to win. With that kind of rock and roll, we could score goals.

2nd musical analogy: On talented players

He has solid taste in music, Carvahal:

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The lead singer is the one who shows the best performance when he is singing but he needs the other three to do good music. Alone the singer can do nothing. I like the Arctic Monkeys because they are from Sheffield

3rd musical analogy: The make up of a team

The man really is a stickler for musical analogies:

In an orchestra they have a saxophone, they have a piano and they have the drums. We have some players who must be the drums. You can’t have an orchestra that is just eleven people playing piano or all playing the drums.

Defending a lead against Leeds

When we went 2-0 up, we closed the doors and windows very well. We didn’t want to let any light inside our house. We closed everything.

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Not sure if Carlos understands the nature of windows, but we'll give him a pass.

On trying to replace injured players

If we will cook something, you buy good tomatoes, good potatoes, and good rice, but if you don’t have the fish, you eat more potato. A potato cannot play the role of fish.

Carlos Carvahal: staunch anti-vegan.

Grinding out a 2-1 against Blackburn

We can't always play opera when we are playing against gladiators, sometimes we must put clothes on like gladiators to achieve the points.

One of his poorer efforts, needs another draft.

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On the transfer window

We have money for sardines and I'm thinking lobster. I will do my best to try and bring in the best players. I will look to the lobsters and sea bass, but if not we must buy sardines. But sometimes the sardines can win games.

Now I'm hungry.

On relegation fears

We are not in the Emergency room. We are still in the hospital but we are accepting visitors.

A slightly morbid take on Swansea's chances of survival.

On season ending injuries to Wilfried Bony and Leroy Fer

See Also: Eagles' Jason Kelce Cuts A Curse-Filled, All-Time Great Superbowl Interview

 

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