The 10 FIFA Commandments

Mikey Traynor
By Mikey Traynor
Share this article

For many, FIFA is more than a video game, it's a way of life. And for those who care about FIFA far more than they should, there are rules, certain rules you just do not break. These 10 commandments of FIFA are set in stone, and anyone who dares to go against them faces eternity in the fiery pits of hell... Or just won't be invited around to play FIFA anymore.

Thou shalt not pick Real Madrid every time.

Don't be that coward who only plays with the best team in the game and refuses to use anyone else. If you do, you're a terrible person.

Thou shalt not start the game before going into Team Management.

The worst possible thing you can do after picking teams is to mash the start button in a fit of impatience, for if Team Management is skipped, the entire game is void.

Thou shalt not covet thy opponent's team.

Nobody wants to see Real Madrid vs Real Madrid or Barca v Barca, if your opponent picks a team first, then find a suitable match-up, but don't just pick the same team, that's not football, that's not FIFA.

Thou shalt not play 5 at the back.

By doing this you are basically admitting that you can't compete with your opponent and wish to ruin the game as a spectacle. The lowest of the low.

Thou shalt not pause the game without fair warning.


And don't act innocent either! You know what you did you horrible cheat.

Thou shalt not score a rat goal.
When one on one with the keeper, take the shot or take it around him, don't pass it across for the simple tap in, like a rat who has no confidence in their ability. In real life, it's unselfish, in FIFA, it's shameful.


Thou shalt not watch all of the replays after scoring.

Literally the worst thing any FIFA player can do. A quick way to lose all your friends.

Thou shalt not peek at thy opponent's controller during a penalty shootout.

This is cheating. Your desperation to win is disturbing and your wish to use dirty tactics to get one over your supposed mate is disgusting.

Honor thy opponent's right to a rematch.

If you knick a 2-1 win in the 92nd minute, congratulations. However, if you decline a rematch and attempt to retire from the game undefeated, then you are a coward plain and simple. Time may not always allow for another game, but if you don't offer a rematch at some stage you shouldn't be able to sleep at night, such is your cowardice.


Remember the sabbath day, FIFA should always be played on this day.

After Super Sunday there is only one thing left to do, get a few games of FIFA in.


Join The Monday Club Have a tip or something brilliant you wanted to share on? We're looking for loyal Balls readers free-to-join members club where top tipsters can win prizes and Balls merchandise

Processing your request...

You are now subscribed!

Share this article

Copyright © 2024. All rights reserved. Developed by Square1 and powered by