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5 Of The Best Harchester United Deadline Day Transfers

Mikey Traynor
By Mikey Traynor
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Back when Dream Team was in it's prime on Sky One, there was nowhere near the fuss surrounding the transfer deadline as there is today.

Jim White was nowhere to be seen, and helicopters/airplanes were not tracked from their departure to get a clue as to who was inside, but there was one club that was always good for a bit of drama... Harchester United.

Sometimes they desperately needed players because most of their first-team had been killed, sometimes they signed players in order to keep corrupt agents happy, and sometimes they just wanted to make a splash, but the Dragons were always a good bet for a deadline day deal.

We've had a look back at some of the most notable deadline day transfers in the club's history. Enjoy.

Andrei Belanov - Steaua Bucharest > Harchester Utd - £3.5m

A Ukranian international Belanov arrived on deadline day in 2001 for a then club record fee.

He wasn't that notable on the pitch, but without a doubt the best storyline concerning Belanov was the fact that he heard about teammate Jamie Parker wanting to have a baby with his model wife Tash, but they couldn't due to her career. Andrei then took it upon himself to go to "Eastern Europe" and buy a baby, which he gifted to Jamie and Tash...

He then asked for the money from the couple to pay the baby's mother. Tash was horrified, the baby was traumatised. What a bloke.

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Didier Baptiste - AS Monaco > Harchester Utd - £3.5

An incredibly moody World Cup winner who made perfectly clear his intentions to retire by 30, but not before arriving at the most dysfunctional club in England.

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Having played with Luis Amor Rodriguez, who was then manager at Harchester United, Baptiste was brought in to help the Dragons secure Champions League football.

Luis Amor Rodriguez - Real Betis > Harchester Utd - £3m

Ah yes, who could forget one of Harchester's favourite sons, who arrived to protests from a Xenophobic mob who wanted him to go home because he wasn't English. How football has changed, eh?

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A massive name from Real Betis, his arrival didn't go down too well with Karl Fletcher, but he was soon established as a hero at the Dragon's Lair, before going on to manage the club and trying to elope with Linda Block to Argentina, presumably to get away from a job where most of his colleagues died around him.

Luke Davenport - Barcelona > Harchester Utd - €40m

By far the biggest signing in Harchester United history, a club record signing from Barcelona, Luke Davenport was signed to keep the club in the Champions League..

One small problem; he couldn't see.

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A rushed medical meant the doctors missed the terrible eye injury that was one knock away from permanent, irreversible damage, which eventually came thanks to a clash with John Terry.

Karl Fletcher - Al-Arabi > Harchester Utd - Undisclosed

Forget Paul Pogba, David Luiz too.. The best prodigal son returning transfer ever was Karl Fletcher swapping beer bellies and the lifestyle of a Saudi price at Al-Arabi Sports Club to return home.

Comically, he only signed after he convinced the chairman that he could get his teammate Gabriel Batistuta to sign for Harchester, and was given £80,000 to deliver as a signing bonus, but he was robbed, so the chairman decided to sign him instead.

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Tragically murdered by manager Don Barker, he probably regretted swapping the Middle East for the East Midlands.

SEE ALSO: The Harchester United Players Who Didn't Die - Where Are They Now?

 

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