In anticipation of the release of Ridley Scott's Alien:Covenant on May 12th, we've been thinking about the day that Brian Cody leaves Kilkenny a potential alien invasion of Earth threatening our very existence. Which Irish sporting personalities would you want in the trenches with you, to fight the invaders off and save the human race? Here are our six nominations. Let us know who you would want by your side.
Brian Kerr
To defeat your enemy, you need to know your enemy. So we reckon we'd stand a much better chance if we recruit Brian Kerr, the man with the largest scouting folder in the world, and potentially the galaxy. Chances are that Kerr would know in which hand these aliens wield their weapons and their narrative-defining single weakness, having presumably watched them develop as underage inter-planetary warmongers in some remote outpost like Andromeda III, or the Faroe Islands.
Kerr has the added benefit of a background in science, having worked in UCD as a laboratory assistant breeding rats in the past. If the aliens are to be defeated by science, he could provide useful assistance to the next Irish sporting personality we are recruiting...
Anthony Maher
The Kerry footballer has the benefit of the brawn to fight off the invasion, but his brains are even more useful. Maher has a PhD in the area of "polymorphism in pharmaceutical compounds", which is presumably as impressive as it sounds. We're backing Maher to be the man who can battle his way to a half-ruined laboratory while under attack, and develop some kind of deadly virus that can spread and kill off the aliens, tipping the balance back toward humanity just when it appeared that all hope was lost.
I'm expecting wise things, PHD man! @maher_anthony
— Brian Moran (@BrianDMoran) March 26, 2012
Sean O'Brien
Before the virus wreaks biological disaster upon the alien invaders, we will need some sporting personalities to lead the fight back, and stave off the attack for long enough to allow the virus spread. We're choosing two for this job: O'Brien gets the gig for his obvious physical prowess, and the added benefit of his being used to dealing with other species.
Video: Sean O'Brien Working On The Farm - Be Very Afraid England http://t.co/UXja8Nhi1N pic.twitter.com/uMebZfoGGi
— Balls.ie (@ballsdotie) February 24, 2015
Katie Taylor
If the fight gets up close, who better to keep them at arms reach than Taylor?
The Bray woman has no quit, and the crew could even use her gym as a HQ to plot the counter-attack. Katie has to be in there.
Anthony Nash
Give Nash a hurl and a few sliotars and he will fend off attacks from all angles, at a reasonably long range, too.
Eamon Dunphy
In the event that the careful plan above does not work out as planned, Dunphy is Plan 'B'. He will give an alien victory an added bit of poetic lament, as he ponders aloud the decline of humanity, having been calling it since Shakespeare's later work didn't match his early stuff. Dunphy is also pretty much guaranteed to survive whatever ruinous apocalypse is wrought upon the earth, and remain on television, telling all how he survived all these years. Also, it will be up to him to restart the human race.
That's showbiz, baby!
