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6 Things That Happened At The Launch Of The Balls.ie Guide To Life

6 Things That Happened At The Launch Of The Balls.ie Guide To Life
By Donny Mahoney Updated

Well, that was fun. Last night, we held the launch for 'The Balls.ie Guide To Life', the most important sports book in the history of Irish sports books, at the Church near Jervus. There were thrills and spills, laughter and tears. Here are some of the things you missed.aligncenter

1. We celebrated five years in existence with a story about Mario Gotze's erection

The Balls.ie Guide To Life is the culmination of five years of work on the site by loads of great writers. But if Mario Gotze's lawyers had their way, it might have never came to pass. It seemed like a decent place to begin a celebration of the site and its emergence as Ireland's best sports website.

2. Our brilliant panel talked All-Irelands, Ronan O'Gara sledging and urine throwing

We had Richie Hogan, Philly McMahon, Alan Quinlan and Anthony Moyles on stage and the lads regaled all in attendance with some illuminating conversation that touched on some of the following subjects: the insane amount of morphine that Paul O'Connell required in the hospital Sunday night, urine tests, urine throwing, French rugby sledging and feigning injury after being kicked in the arse in a Heineken Cup final.

3. We attempted the world's worst sports photo shoot

In truth, the inspiration for the Balls.ie Guide to Life came from the post '68 Examples Showing The Absolute Ridiculousness Of The Irish Sports Photo Shoot'. We had one main ambition for the launch - to stage the world's worst Irish sports photo shoot. We had many of the elements there: oversized objects, a guy in a green suit, a guy with a shithead emoji mask, cardboard Anton Savage, a model (that's him in white). All we needed were the sports stars.

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4. We gave a Munster man the Ian Madigan haircut

Ireland may not win the World Cup, but Ian Madigan won the hearts of the nation with his tears Sunday afternoon. The sight of him blubbering after the France game allowed most people to forgive him for his haircut. It gave us the idea - why not give one of own staff the Madigan haircut at the launch? Dublin's best barber Billy of Beards and Barnets proceeded to do the business on our own resident Corkman Gavan Casey. Do you think Gavan has any regrets?

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5. We achieved the world's worst Irish sporting photo shoot.

Thanks to Richie, Philly, Anthony and Alan for obliging. The lads in the back row are struggling to hold the model lengthways.

6. We sold some books.

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But if you weren't there, don't worry - there's still ample opportunity to get your hands on the 'Balls.ie Guide To Life'. You just need to head to good bookstores with 15 quid and you'll be sorted. And we'll be doing plenty of these events in the future so hopefully we'll meet you next time we're out.

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