I don't like hoops, I don't like QPR and I don't like round collars. This was never going to end well.
19. Hull City
I'm afraid there's just no way black and amber are going to work in a striped top. Apologies to everyone in Hull and Kilkenny.
Same can be said for claret and blue, although I kind of like the neck design on this.
17. Aston Villa
Villa sneak in just ahead of Burnley based on the nice pinstripe, and a collar is always a winner in my eyes.
16. Newcastle (rumoured)
Newcastle, being Newcastle, have unveiled their new kit for the season ahead yet but this is widely rumoured to be a leaked photo of the home shirt. It's an insult to Newcastle shirts of previous generations. What's the deal with the black triangle at the top?
15. Crystal Palace
The Palace top is one of those kind of shirts that should look terrible but actual works kind of well because of the sheer novelty factor of owning one. That being said, this is probably as high as it will ever rank.
14. Tottenham Hotspur
Perhaps this should rank higher but I'm putting down here as punishment for being such a disappointment. Spurs shirts are usually one of the best in the league but they can do much than this. I hope you learn your lesson Under Armour.
Could be really nice if it wasn't for the horrendous looking sponsor.
12. Stoke City
Now we come to the God awful red and white stripes. Stoke, the worst of the three:
It looks like Southampton may have peaked in every sense last season as the reintroduction of their red and white stripes has seen them fall five places from last year's rankings. I know traditionalists will welcome the stripes back but tradition can suck a lemon for all I care.
10. West Ham
The pinstripes are nice move this season for the Hammers. To be honest I found it hard to choose between this and the Southampton and Stoke City offerings but I'm rewarding them for their boldness.
The last of the great red and whites, they edge ahead of everyone else for the nice black trimmings on their tops.
This could be the new Chelsea kit. Then again it could be any Chelsea kit in the last seven or eight years.
7. Man United
I long for the time when they return to the days of the mid-90s. The Sharp shirts were a serious high point.
6. West Brom
A massive jump from 16th to sixth for West Brom in what will probably be their last season in the Premier League for a while. A nice shirt to go out on though.
A bit of a throwback to yesteryear with Arsenal this season and we at Balls like it. Nicely played Puma.
4. Leicester City
Leicester City you divils! They've come up to the Premier League and waited until just a couple of days to launch their new kit but it's been worth the wait. I like the collar, I like the blue, I like it all!
Another strong showing from Liverpool this season but perhaps not as good as last year. They've fallen one place to third.
2. Man City
There's something about Man City shirts that makes me want to buy one. I think it might be the simplicity. This year's is typically understated although it has received some criticism from their fans.
It's still good enough for me though.
The terrible era of the white 'V' is now all but forgotten as Everton have come storming back into fashion both on the field and off it. I'd like to think that Roberto Martinez had a hand in this design. It's as eloquant as the man himself.