• Home
  • /
  • Football
  • /
  • 10 Things We Learned From Watching All Of All Or Nothing: Manchester City

10 Things We Learned From Watching All Of All Or Nothing: Manchester City

10 Things We Learned From Watching All Of All Or Nothing: Manchester City
By Gavin Cooney

The subject on this week's edition of The Reducer was an eight-part documentary series focusing on the work of a bearded ideologue funded by the Middle East: Pep Guardiola and Amazon Prime's new series, All or Nothing: Manchester City. In respective long, dark nights of the soul, hosts Gavin Cooney and Seamas O'Reilly watched all eight episodes in a single sitting. The fruit of their labours can be found on iTunes or, indeed, below.

We learned approximately 137 things from watching the series, but here are nine of them presented in easily digestible style. (Do listen to the podcast for the rest of our learnings, witticisms and snarky observations. Please. We watched it to the point our eyes bled).

All or Nothing: Manchester City - Ten Things We Learned 

Sergio Aguero's son loves Jamie Vardy 

Not only is Benji Aguero's father one of the best strikers in English football history, his grandad is Diego Maradona and his godfather is Leo Messi. So naturally enough, the one shirt he demanded his Dad nab for him after a game? Jamie Vardy's.

Guardiola is doing it all for Johan Cruyff

Guardiola is an avowed disciple of Johan Cruyff, and sees his management career as the propagation and promulgation of the values held by his former manager. T0 the extent that Pep murmured at one point that we "do it all for Johan", and has a mini-Cruyff statue on his desk.

Advertisement

While Mourinho is presented in unflattering terms 

Jose Mourinho's United are set up as the ideal foil for Guardiola: Narrator Ben Kinglsey describe their "park the bus style", and a lot of time is given to fans chanting "Park the Bus Man Uniiiiited" after the derby win at Old Trafford. Guardiola's post-game presser in which he heralds the success of his own ideas are included, but most interesting is the on-screen trivia displayed if you pause your stream at this point.

They quote Mourinho's post-game wails about the referee and United's dominance of the game, before explaining that the "stats don't support Jose", and accentuate the fact that United's possession stats were "the lowest since records began". Lulz.

Advertisement

Fabian Delph is among the most vocal in the dressing room

Delph, who may well have won multiple Ballon D'Or's had Pep turned him into a left-back a few years earlier, isn't afraid to dish it out in a dressing room filled with players that are better than him. Consider this John Sitton-style meltdown after the Premier League defeat to Manchester United.

Fucking shit man, fuck sake. Fucking useless. Fuck me. Fucking hell.

Fucking tired? It's simple, it's straightforward. We stopped fucking running in the second-half.

I'm not blaming anyone, it's just the basics of football. When things go against us and everybody drops their head, just remember the basics. Winning our individual battles, sticking together as a unit, fucking defenders defending, midfielders box to box, fucking keepers… just the basics of football. When we go behind, or something comes against us, we freeze. When something goes against us, think of the basics of football.

Pep isn't afraid to dish it out...

Advertisement

Pep doesn't shirk confrontation in scenes captured on film. He roars "PROTECT THE PLAYERS" at the referee at half-time of the tempestuous FA Cup tie with Wigan; "IT WAS A GOAL! IT WAS A PENALTY! is shouted in the face of the referee at half-time of the second leg against Liverpool in the Champions League, an outburst that precipitated his being sent off; and most memorably, Arsene Wenger's caviling with the fourth official during the Carabao Cup final led to an "ARSENE, ALWAYS WITH THE REFEREE! SHUT UP YOU!".

...and doesn't suffer from a lack of confidence 

Consider this phenomenal humblebrag from Pep at the end of the series, as he tries to commend his players on their title-winning exploits.

Advertisement

Can you imagine a ballboy, in his own country. A small country. A ballboy. He goes to the Academy, and then plays in the first team. Of his own team. He played [there for] a lot of years and after became the manager. At 37 years of age, and he destroyed football. For four year. Destroyed football. It's me. It's me.

I had the privilege to live that. I destroyed football, like you destroyed the Premier League this season. Like you destroyed the Premier League this season. People say 'it's the manager. Pep is top'. The media and the people think it's the manager's, but it belongs to you. It belongs to you. The football belongs to you.

They use LiveScore!

Advertisement

There is Man City coach Rodolfo Borrell using LiveScore. See everyone, these famous people are the same as you!

 

Vincent Kompany's father in law is a massive United fan

In one of the series' best moments, Vincent Kompany watches United lose to West Brom and hand City the league form the comfort of his father-in-law's front room. It's genuinely lovely, and Kompany provides one of the very few moments of humour scattered across the series. His father-in-law is a massive United fan, and points to the 'Camp Nou 1999 Champions League Final' embroidered on his shirt and asks Kompany, 'What is that?', to which Kompany responds, 'That's called living in the past'.

Kompany educates children about the legacy of Nelson Mandela...

Kompany comes across as hugely impressive, and there is a sweet moment in which he is interviewed by a group of children decked out in City gear. When asked if he could meet any person dead or alive, he says Nelson Mandela, and proceeds to explain Mandela's cause to the assembled kids. "What was his crime?" came a response from the crowd. Kompany paused before eventually saying...."his crime was being black".

...but the human rights abuses of City's owners are handily ignored completely

As you might expect, we don't hear anything about the flagrant-human-rights-abusing-elephant in the room.

See Also: Opinions Split As Harry Arter Makes Cardiff City Debut During Premier League Draw

Join The Monday Club Have a tip or something brilliant you wanted to share on? We're looking for loyal Balls readers free-to-join members club where top tipsters can win prizes and Balls merchandise

Processing your request...

You are subscribed now!

Copyright © 2022. All rights reserved. Developed by Square1 and powered by PublisherPlus.com

Advertisement