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Balls.ie Cast All Of The Supporting Characters In The Jamie Vardy Movie

Gavin Cooney
By Gavin Cooney
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Jamie Vardy is soon going to be the subject of a movie, given his meteoric rise from non-league obscurity to Premier League champion-elect. While many of the details are yet to be confirmed, Vinnie Jones confirmed to the Telegraph last week that he has been approached to play the role of Nigel Pearson, which would be the finest piece of casting since Sacha Baron Cohen was approached to play the role of Freddie Mercury.

With the rest of the film's personnel yet to be confirmed, Balls.ie decided to help out the casting agents and offer suggestions as to who should play whom in the film:

Jamie Vardy - Jack O'Connell 

The hero of the piece will be played by rising star and former Skins actor Jack O'Connell, beating off competition from Jamie Bell.

Wes Morgan -Idris Elba

Morgan has been the muscle behind Leicester's title charge, and nobody is going to mess with the artist formerly known as Stringer Bell.

Claudio Ranieri - Morgan Freeman

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In terms of actors who could play Ranieri based entirely on looking like him, there are many to choose from, including Larry David and Tony Sirico, aka Paulie Walnuts. But given that Ranieri's influence upon Leicester has transcended the mere superficial, we feel he needs to be represented by a truly seismic screen presence, a messiah. Hence, we have plumped for Freeman. It's not as if race is that big a deal to anybody at Leicester anyway. Well, aside from Jamie Vardy.

Christian Fuchs - Michael Fassbender

Austrian Fuchs is one of the real heroes of the story, and the link with part-German born Fassbender is a casting agent's dream.

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Danny Simpson - Chris Brown

Chris Brown is making his acting debut at right-back for this Leicester team. In other news, Danny Simpson is currently fulfilling 300 hours of community service for assaulting his ex-girlfriend.

Jon Moss - William H Macy

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Referee Moss was determined to write himself into this story with his performance in the West Ham/Leicester game, and he will be played by acclaimed character actor William H Macy.

Gary Lineker - Himself

We think Lineker has the acting chops to appear as himself. It will at least allow the director to use file clips from Match of the Day rather than having to direct a scene in which Lineker is paid to appear semi-nude by the taxpayer.

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Danny Drinkwater - Dynamo The Magician

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They look quite alike, and Drinkwater is a misfield dynamo/magician, delete where appropriate.

N'Golo Kante - Kevin Hart

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Excitable Kevin Hart has the energy to play the tireless Kante.

Pearson's Son - Disgraced Porn Star James Deen

Both of these men have had careers ended by some appalling actions. Birds of a feather.

Shinji Okazaki - Danny Devito in a wig

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This just works.

Riyad Mahrez - Oscar Issac

Both are new on the scene, and rising stars. Issac landed a big role in the Star Wars franchise, expect Mahrez to get his chance at a bigger institution soon.

Robert Huth - Dolph Lundgren

While there may be a bit of an age gap, Lundgren (aka Ivan Drago) is a young looking 58, while Huth is an extremely old looking 31, meaning they should be a perfect match.

Marc Albrighton - Domhnall Gleeson

The seemingly tireless and versatile Gleeson would be an ideal fit for the seemingly tireless and versatile Albrighton.

Kasper Schmeichel - Alex Pettyfer

This may be slightly flattering towards Schmeichel.

The Asian Man Abused By Jamie Vardy In A Casino - Himself

A victim of an extremely downplayed racist incident, he deserves the chance to make his plight public by playing himself in the film.

See Also: A Life-Long Leicester City Fan Explains What Happened After Leicester City Won The League In 2016

 

 

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