Football

Balls.ie Fantasy Football Podcast Releases Scathing Statement About The BBC

Balls.ie Fantasy Football Podcast Releases Scathing Statement About The BBC

Gameweek 11 of the Balls.ie Fantasy Football Podcast was always likely to contain a sinister and spiteful undertone given Sunday's revelations that Match of the Day 2 had used the lads' trademarked segment*, 'Martial Matters', in discussing the French starlet's performance versus Manchester City.

Not ones to take this kind of arse-chancery lightly, a visibly shaken trio of Mikey Traynor, Mark Farrelly and Gavan Casey issued a barbed joint statement from Balls conference room, warning their BBC counterparts about their future conduct.

The statement, read aloud to the gathered press by Balls' own Fake Statements Liaison, Gavan, said:

It has been brought to the attention of the Balls.ie Fantasy Football Podcast that, on the 25th of October 2015, BBC One's Match The Day 2 acted the bollocks in their use of the phrase, 'Martial Matters', during their typically shrewd, cutting analysis.

'Martial Matters' has been a stalwart segment on the Balls.ie Fantasy Football Podcast since its immaculate conception via three honest-to-god youngfellas over five weeks ago. Mikey, Mark and I, Gavan, would like to place on record our dissatisfaction with the BBC, and in particular 'Chappers' [Mark Chapman's] conduct last Sunday.

Chappers [Mark Chapman] will be hearing from our lawyers, Corless Corless and Sweeney in the coming weeks. This never would have happened under Colin Murray.

We ask that you please respect our privacy during this difficult time.

The BBC have so far declined to respond to this statement.

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Away from what remains a sore topic, the lads also addressed your questions and suggestions in The Ballbag™, including a very left-of-field musing from podcast listener Conor Dever.

Elsewhere, Mikey, Mark and Gavan were unanimous in their pick for Captain's Choice this week, and had three incredibly wise shouts for 'Pleased to Michu'. You can check out the full podcast here:

*Martial Matters is in no way, shape or form trademarked. If anything, Eminem is the victim in all of this.

Gavan Casey
Article written by
Former handwriting champion. Was violently bitten by a pelican at Fota Wildlife Park in 2001.

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