A Bluffers Guide To The World Cup: Group B

A Bluffers Guide To The World Cup: Group B
By Jason Brennan Updated

Continuing on from the hugely helpful Group A guide for dummies, here's all you need to know about tricky Group B.

Spain

1. "Spain can't win four in a row "

They can, and they probably will. But if in doubt, just day you fancy Neymar, and you think he's good at football too.

2. "It proves you don't need to be big to win, I love Xavi and Iniesta"

It doesn't prove that, it proves that if you put some of the best players in a generation together, size doesn't matter, but this is a line nobody will dispute.

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3. "Finally, they have a Plan B"

Yes Diego Costa is big, and aggressive, he sometimes also heads the ball. The combination of these three factors could silence one of the few criticisms voiced about Spain.

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Netherlands

1 "If only they could all just get along"

Everyone knows the Dutch lads don't get along, but it doesn't matter how much you say it, people love agreeing.

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2 "All they need is a defence"

Like any team with a talented attack, people want to have a go at their defence, but to be fair, the Dutch don't have much on paper in that department, and haven't for a long time.

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3. "That's the lad who's been linked with United"

It doesn't matter who, chances are if you point to an orange jersey you'll be on the money.

Chile

1."They're one of my underdogs"

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Underdogs stop becoming underdogs when everyone tips them as contenders, but nevertheless throw this phrase out at any point and at least one person will be impressed. Same applies for Belgium.

2."Three of their starters play in The Championship"

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This is true seeing as Gary Medel got relegated with Cardiff, but they also have two Serie A winners, and one La Liga champion. Still, it's a stat that will show up a few more knowledgeable football fans.

3. "They're a spiky, energetic team"

Any diminutive Latin team who run around a bit are dubbed this, but Chile kind of are. Willing to leave in a boot, and make their mark a few seconds after the ball is gone, if they were taller they'd probably be called cheats

Australia

1. "I'm telling you Harry Kewell still plays, he's just injured"

He doesn't, and he's not, well he probably is, but he's retired regardless. Still, unless anyone whips out their phone who's to know. Saying the same for Mark Viduka might be pushing it a bit.

2. "No, they didn't bring Schwarzer, " *accompanied by a smug face

The Australian goalkeeping stalwart wasn't selected this time around, but little has been made of this in the media, so feel free to stick it to a more avid fan.

3. "No, Brad Jones wasn't picked either" *an even smugger face

That's right, neither of the only two Australian goalkeepers anyone knows were brought.

 


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