Football

Chinese Super League Officially Loses The Arse With Latest Move For Premier League 'Star'

Chinese Super League Officially Loses The Arse With Latest Move For Premier League 'Star'

Not content with ruining the integrity of Oscar's career with a positively mental offer to both player and Chelsea, it seems the Chinese Super League is keen to add another outstanding young talent to its ranks.

Just a day after winning the Ballon D'Or equivalent for referees at the prestigious Globe Soccer Awards in Dubai, Mark Clattenburg is the latest Premier League 'star' to be linked with a move to the piss-takingly cash-rich CSL.

Take our eyes, China, but not Clattz!

The Mirror report that FIFA official Clattenburg, who took charge of the FA Cup final, Champions League final and Euros final in 2016, "would be seen as a massive coup" for China, a nation which itself is no stranger to coups having attempted 12 of them between 1913 and 1936.

The likes of Wayne Rooney, John Terry and Alexis Sanchez have all had their heads turned by offers of up to £700,000 per week, while former Premier League renegade Carlos Tevez has manufactured a deal which sees a particularly elongated fart is worth to him as much as an hour's wage for most Irish graduates.

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But having been hit by a number of corruption and match-fixing scandals in recent years, the Super League is keen not just to recruit players, but some of world football's top officials and administrators too, as it seeks to clean up its act.

We dread to think what Clattenburg's Chinese Super League tattoo will look like.

[Mirror]

Why You Kind Of Have To Admire Carlos Tevez' £32m-Per-Year Move To China

Gavan Casey
Article written by
Former handwriting champion. Was violently bitten by a pelican at Fota Wildlife Park in 2001.

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