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Everything You Shouldn't Say When Discussing Football

Everything You Shouldn't Say When Discussing Football
By Mark Farrelly Updated
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There are many terribly confused football fans out there. They have no idea where anyone is from, don't don't know their Ligue 1 from their League One and they think Gareth Bale will never top his performance in American Psycho.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give to you all the views of the most discombobulated, misinformed, needs to go back to school armchair critic in the world.


Thinks Shane Long's performance last night warrants an England call-up


Image: Shane Hegarty

Was devastated when Batman left Tottenham Hotspur for Real Madrid


Goes into a deep political analysis when explaining why the Spanish doesn't sing the national anthem


Thanked their lucky stars Lewandowski wasn't playing against England

But was upset that James Morrison didn't feature

Garth Crooks' article on BBC Sport:

Thinks Man City should never have sacked their last manager, Mario Balotelli


Remembers Roy Hodgson for his playing days

Is taking a keen interest in Gervinho's performances on loan at Crystal Palace this season


Hopes that Aaron Ramsey can still play a big role for England in the World Cup

Has a deep respect for Vicente Del Bosque, managing Spain for pittance


(He actually gets €1.5m)

Thinks the ancestors of Newcastle's star midfielder invented a delicacy


Has yet to forgive David Beckham for not showing up to his own retirement match

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