Demba Ba 'Facts'

Demba Ba 'Facts'
By Mark Farrelly Updated

 

Anyone who has a Facebook account will no doubt have seen some of the Chuck Norris'esque Demba Ba facts that are clogging up our homepage. We've decided to compile a list of some of the best little nuggets:

  • He played minor football for 19 years.
  • He once scored a goal on FIFA 12 whilst playing FIFA 11.
  • Demba Ba was pulled over by a policeman. Demba Ba decided to let him off with a warning.
  • Ba got 100% in his German exam, he answered in French.
  • The leaving cert has to sit the Demba Ba.
  • Demba Ba doesn't use sunscreen, he points at the sun and says "no."
  • Demba Ba doesn't sleep, he waits.
  • He once had a baby with a woman from Argentina. They named him 'Lionel.'
  • Dettol kills 99.9% of germs. The other 0.1% is Demba Ba.
  • When Demba Ba scores a goal every woman within a 10 mile radius is impregnated instantly.
  • Demba Ba sleeps with a night-light, but not because he's afraid of the dark, the dark's afraid of him.
  • Demba Ba can see John Cena.
  • He won the lotto without buying a ticket.
  • When Demba Ba watches Babestation they ring him.
  • Ba once scored a header with his foot.
  • Lar Corbett retired when he heard that Demba Ba is hurling this year.
  • Demba Ba can turn water into Dutch Gold.
  • Ba died 20 years ago but Death hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
  • Demba Ba doesn't ring the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone.
  • Demba Ba is the banker in Deal or No Deal.

You know what? If Demba Ba is so feckin good then why doesn't he come here and smack my head of the keybordkggjsggdh

 

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