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Dirk Kuyt Caps Perfect Week By Announcing Retirement With Beautiful Timing

By Gavin O'Callaghan
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Well, the man of the week has only gone and pissed all over Enda Kenny's bonfire with the ultimate mic drop.

It's unofficially been Dirk Kuyt appreciation month and now the epitome of the ''work-horse'' footballer stereotype has announced his retirement from the game less than a week after playing what must have been the most enjoyable game of his entire career: last Sunday he scored a hat-trick on the final day of the season to seal a first title for Feyenoord in eighteen years.

It's been a day of high-profile retirements and Kuyt's departure from football can only lead to speculation that he is to become the new leader of Fine Gael.

His club Feyenoord announced the news today on their website quoting the 36-year-old saying:

Throughout my career I have always followed my heart when taking decisions and that goes for this one too.

To me this feels like the right time to retire. I have had two fantastic years here since returning to Feyenoord, with this season’s title as the absolute pinnacle. I had the dream of winning trophies and becoming a champion with Feyenoord. All my dreams have come true.

Kuyt will go down as a legend in Rotterdam and also Liverpool where he played over 200 games scoring 51 goals including a memorable 3-yard hat-trick against Manchester United.


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Kuyt moved from Liverpool to Fenerbache in 2012 before returning to Feyenoord 3 years later to try and help them win a league title.

After winning the title last week Kuyt’s comments were praised by many saying it highlighted the Dutch man’s great attitude towards the game.


I knew when I came back two years ago that we could win the championship and everyone laughed at me when I said so.

When Feyenoord were in the top half of the league everyone used to celebrate. When we drew 1-1 with Ajax people were dancing on the table.

That shouldn’t happen—you should only be satisfied when you are winning trophies.


Feyenoord have now said that Kuyt will be focusing on gaining a position with their technical management team with future aspirations to go into management.

Technical Director of the Club Martin van Geel said that their captain “added a huge deal with his attitude, professionalism, and passion.”


“In the dressing room, on the pitch and beyond. So we are delighted to be able to retain someone with his experience and attitude at the club. I will tutor Dirk and I could easily imagine him taking over from me in due course.”

See Also: Dirk Kuyt Scores Hat-Trick To Win Feyenoord A First Title In 18 Years

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