Watch: Garth Crooks Talks Through His Hoop About Arsene Wenger

Few capture essential truths like cult Liverpool rock band Half Man Half Biscuit.

This is the opening paragraph from their song, "Lock Up Your Mountain Bikes":

There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves
There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves
With the possible exception
Of being Garth Crooks
There is surely nothing worse than washing sieves

Garth Crooks has been spouting nonsense on the BBC for years, now, with his declarations ranging from the eccentric to the outright absurd.

Illustrative of the former is his utterly mad reason for including Wayne Rooney in his Team of the Week three years ago:

While that is at least entertaining, Crooks was talking bollocks on Football Focus yesterday. When asked about the future of Arsene Wenger, Crooks gave the question the usual long, thoughtful pause philosophers give existential questions. The answer, however, could not have been less considered.

When Martin Keown is the voice of reason, then you know you've gone awry.

Crooks says that Wenger's touchline temper gives him reason to be worried, which is a legitimate opinion. However, his comparisons are absolute nonsense. Have a look...

Brian Clough!? Sure, Clough might not push an official...but he did once punch a fan in the face.

[Watch Video]

See Also: Watch: Fernando Torres Rolls Back The Years With Glorious Finish Against Celta