Gary Lineker's time as Michel Platini's golfing buddy led to him being parachuted in as part of England's ill-fated bid for the 2018 World Cup.
He admitted he found the buttering up process rather grating. The night before the big vote, the English bounced around the halls, trying frantically to gather support while the Russians were playing it cool.
We were in the lobby the night before the vote and we were asked to be really nice and creepy to all these people. It wasn’t me. I don’t like pretending to crawl up people’s backsides. And we were the only ones doing it.
He felt he needed a wash after all the grovelling and arse-licking.
I remember I was sat with David Beckham and turned to him at one point and said: ‘Have you noticed we’re the only nation that’s doing this? Do you get the feeling that it might already be done?’ So I had that sense at the end of it all of needing a shower.
So it came to pass, the Russians got it done and Gary went home vowing never to get involve in football officialdom. He recalled his time with the FIFA boys at the launch of BT Sport's European football coverage, which he is fronting.