Hump day is here, the mid-week slump with a vice-like grip on our shoulders. Fear not, for transfer rumours are here to deliver us from Wednesday's evil. Amen.
Welcome to the Balls Bullshit-O-Meter. It measures the validity of a transfer rumour with its scientifically approved formula of measuring the smell of the bullshit emanating from the morning reports. '1' is a fresh meadow with '10' setting off nuclear toxicity alarms throughout the land.
Alan Judge (Ipswich Town to QPR)
According to the East Anglian Daily Times, Alan Judge has informed Ipswich manager Paul Lambert that he would like to move to QPR. The Ireland international is apparently keen to move back to West London, where he starred for five as a Brentford player.
The midfielder may also be interested in working with his former Brentford manager, Mark Warburton. Also, a move to Loftus Road would grant Judge a way back to the Championship following Ipswich's relegation last season.
Patrick Cutrone (AC Milan to Wolves)
Wolves are interested in bringing in AC Milan striker Patrick Cutrone, per Sky Sports. Milan are desperate to secure future spending money whilst being compliant with Financial Fair Play, and are exploring options regarding their £23m-rated striker.
Nuno Espirito-Santo responded to the rumours in a press conference today, but unfortunately, the Portuguese manager didn't give the game away. “We don’t speak about players that are not in the squad,” said Nuno. “It doesn’t mean anything, what is important is the work indoors."
Reiss Nelson (Arsenal to Hertha Berlin)
Following a stellar season on loan at Hoffenheim last year, Reiss Nelson could once again be on the move to Germany. According to The Sun, Unai Emery is contemplating whether he'll need Nelson this season.
Hertha are looking at both Nelson and Watford's Dodi Lukebakio, who was also on loan in the Bundesliga last season. The striker scored 11 goals for Fortuna Dusseldorf.
Pape Abou Cisse (Olympiakos to Wolves)
Wolves have apparently beaten out competition from Arsenal for the signature of centre-back Pape Abou Cisse from Olympiakos, according to The Sun. The Senegalese international will cost Wolves roughly £10m.
The centre-back will provide competition for the likes of Willy Boly and Conor Coady, with Nuno Espirito-Santo looking to bolster his ranks ahead of a Europa League campaign.
Leroy Fer (Swansea City to Sheffield United)
Following his release from Swansea City, former Dutch international Leroy Fer is being chased by Sheffield United and Feyenoord. The Sun have reported that the Blades are planning to hijack Feyenoord's attempt to bring Fer back to the club.
Blades boss Chris Wilder has already signed players with Premier League experience on free transfers this season, including Phil Jagielka and Ravel Morrison.