That prolific coiner of analogies, Jose Mourinho, is at it again. The man who coined the now cliched 'park the bus' metaphor in his first spell in England, compared Newcastle's tactics at the weekend to bringing a cow onto the pitch.
In one of Mourinho's most garbled pronouncements ever, he lamented Newcastle's time-wasting tactics.
You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch, walking. And then stop the game because there was a cow. You cannot do just anything in football. You have to defend. You have to defend with your ten men, put the ten in front of the goal line, bring the bus, but football needs a ball, not two or zero. Do what you can to win but not everything.
We're not sure the cow analogy will enter the football lexicon in the same way the bus analogy did but a brave effort. Having confused everyone with this cow analogy, he then continued Chelsea Football Club's tradition of 'having a go' at opposing ballboys.
And sometimes there were two balls. And it is not possible to play with two balls. Sometimes there was zero balls and that also helps to cut the dynamic of the team who is trying to win the game.