Jesus did indeed weep at football clubs' head-banging attempts to connect with the kids on Twitter.
How many times have we seen Premier League teams rip to shreds whatever integrity they had left with a 'relatable' tweet, or - Christ - a movie trailer to announce a new signing. And before you start laughing at United's borderline obscene unveiling of Paul Pogba, Arsenal fans, take a look at your own club's Twitter account, which turns all sorts of everyday in-game occurrences into hideous pieces of content.
But at least, at very least, United, Arsenal and friends have never done this.
When new Manchester City recruit Leroy Sané took to Twitter yesterday in anticipation of today's clash with West Brom, he surely couldn't have predicted that his own employers would tweet him back in the vein of a celebrity's obsessive online sex predator. We hardly have to tease this out any further, do we?
— Leroy Sané (@leroy_sane) October 28, 2016
— Manchester City (@ManCity) 28 October 2016
In the name of all that's good an pure, why?
For the b****r, of course.
Now, if you're not a Twitter user, you may not be aware that male celebrities' tweets are generally greeted by dozens of similar 'DAD' tweets, for some creepy fucking reason. And so, what you've seen above is the great thinkers behind City's Twitter account try to be 'cool' and 'hip', but actually come off as depraved freaks.
The reviews were universally negative.
— Footy Accumulators (@FootyAccums) October 28, 2016
— Kali (@MissAndreeva_) October 28, 2016
— Jonny Eckersley (@JonnyEckersley) October 28, 2016
City's social team clearly have their fingers on the pulse, and we look forward to them replying 'delet this' to a West Brom tweet later today.