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Man United's Odd New Partner Has Led To Some Woeful Puns

Man United's Odd New Partner Has Led To Some Woeful Puns
By Conall Cahill

The identity of the official 'Man United mattress and pillow partner' is something we know you have agonised over for years. Just who is responsible for supplying the mattresses on which the pampered superstars at Old Trafford rest their weary heads after a hard morning's training? Who is charged with ensuring that Zlatan, Wayne et al get their precious thirty minutes of afternoon nap-time that is so vital to their on-field performance?

Well, agonise no more. For we can reveal that Man United have today announced what is, shockingly, their first ever mattress and pillow partner. If the stereotype of pampered footballers wasn't strong enough already, a mattress and pillow company called 'Mlily' have secured a five-year partnership with United. On their website United outline that mattresses will be used "in the (training) Complex's existing sleeping pods". The club states:

We want to make the best use of the latest technology and expertise that can help our team, which in this case is the sleep and recovery of players.

The new deal has led to the inevitable spate of terrible jokes on social media.

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At least with some decent nights' sleep United's players will be able to get their heads down and focus on doing well on the pitch.

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At the end of the day, that's all that really mattress.

SEE ALSO: Norwich Captain Speaks Like All Footballers Should After An Embarrassing Defeat

SEE ALSO: Zlatan Could Face Ball-Breaking Ban For Gesture Towards City Player

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