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Memphis Depay Learns The Laughable Depths To Which The British Press Will Stoop

Memphis Depay Learns The Laughable Depths To Which The British Press Will Stoop
By Gary Reilly

As far as we're concerned, it's still just shy of the time they went all out on Conor McGregor taking a piss in a bush but, the Daily Mail's regular foray into the world of Premier League footballers doing their shopping like normal human beings is still much loved.

It seems the biannual celebration of transfer buffoonery that is deadline day was not enough excitement for the Daily Mail. Instead, they headed down to the local Boots in Cheshire to have a look through Memphis Depay's shopping trolley.

Listen, we'll agree with the Daily Mail that it's certainly noteworthy that Memphis Depay seems to think that it's acceptable to do a full shop in Boots but a full expose is probably a bit much. They even have a nice little itemised table of everything that was in his trolley.

You might expect to see bottles of champagne and other luxury items in a Premier League footballer's shopping trolley. But Manchester United star Memphis Depay has rejected such extravagant purchases for an ordinary, everyday list.

That's all well and good but they then go ahead and point out that Depay was buying a frankly ludicrous 18 bottles of San Pellegrino for £16.50. Extravagance thy name is Memphis. It's no wonder he's been less than impressive on the field. When you're engaged in that kind of sparkling water extravagance, it's fairly easy to make the jump and categorically state that he's living a playboy lifestyle and will be out the door at Old Trafford by the end of the season.

Disgraceful waste of talent.

And that's not even the worst of it. According to the Mail, 'he also treated himself to a giant box of Capri Sun' and 'he made sure he wouldn’t be running out of toilet paper for a while with three large bags of Andrex'.


Andrex? While the rest of us plebs are getting by with Lidl's finest two ply, he's there comforting himself with puppy fur. Definitive proof, if ever it was needed, that footballer's are living on a different planet than the fans who pay their wages.

Aside from all that nonsense, can we just say fair play to the Dutchman for calling out the Daily Mail on the proverbial shitstorm that is the tendency to write articles on footballer's shopping trollies.

Lucky you indeed Memphis. Now next time you might learn to have a bit of cop on and do your shopping away from a chemists like a normal person.


See also: The Transfer Window Is Closed But Shay Given Could Still Be On The Move

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