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Michael Owen Is Even More Boring Than We Previously Thought

Michael Owen Is Even More Boring Than We Previously Thought
By Conor Neville

As if he couldn't get any more interesting, Michael Owen has told the Guardian that he has only seen five films.

About five films.

The five films figure almost turned out to be a generous estimate, as when he was asked to name those films, he struggled to remember all of them. One would imagine that if you had only seen five films, the names of those films would be easily remembered.

Needless to say, none of the films were exotic French art-house movies or award winning foreign language movies or obscure but highly critically acclaimed offerings.

Here's the bit from The Guardian's Small Talk feature:

What’s the last film you saw?

It’s very boring, but I don’t watch films. I think I’ve seen about five in my life. I just can’t get into them. I do try – someone will say, ‘Watch this film, it’s great,’ and I’ll try but after half an hour, 40 minutes I can’t take it any longer.

So what were those five?

They must have been absolutely terrible. Rocky, Jurassic Park, Cool Runnings, Ghost. Um, I can’t remember any more. [Small Talk drums fingers on table encouragingly] Er … and Heat. I’ve seen Heat. I can’t think of any more.

Heat, the most critically feted of these films, was the least memorable for Owen as he initially struggled to recall the name of it.

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He does nothing to disabuse people of the notion that the Owen family household is not a cultural hotspot.

Asked about music, he confirms that he 'doesn't listen to anything.'

He did, however, peg himself as an expert on cheese.

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