Usually we'd just ignore them but every now and then a bullshit transfer rumour comes along that is just such bullshit it needs a special category all on its own. So far this year, we've had Harry Kane packing his bags and heading off to the Bernabeu to join Real Madrid.
Yes that's right, flavour of last month, Harry Kane was/is apparently being lined up to lead the line in Madrid and they were/are willing to ship out Karim Benzema to make it happen. But that doozy now has a contender for the title of 'Bullshit Transfer Rumour Of The Year'.
The Mirror are reporting that the Metro (who are in turn quoting an LSD laced camel/otter hybrid) have the inside scoop on the massive news that Liverpool captain in waiting, Jordan Henderson, will instead wind down his contract in the knowledge that Barcelona are dying to snap him up when their transfer ban ends in 2016.
To be fair to Henderson, he has more than adequately stepped up his game to become an important, if sometimes careless, part of Liverpool's midfield. But just think of the scenario that would have to unfold for this to happened. Barcelona, having not strengthened their team in over a year, are crying out for a Xavi replacement in June 2016.
'Right lads, Xavi's gone, what do we do?'
'No worries, sure we've had Jordan Henderson on the long finger for a while. We'll just bring him in and expect him to now have a decent first touch all of a sudden.'
Everyone around the boardroom table nods in agreement and it's a done deal. Cue riots in streets when they see Henderson fail to control the ball and then just chase it around the field for 90 minutes, having a pot shot once in a while.
In actuality, the Metro are reporting a dodgy translation from a foreign tabloid, which just so happens to be a key component of How To Spot Bullshit Transfer Rumours: A January Survival Guide.