Take a bow, Kazuyoshi Miura, but take your time.
The year was 1986. We bid our farewells to the great Phil Lynott and said fáilte romhat to some British blow-in named Jack Charlton. It was a year where Ireland as a whole received a monumental boost as Knock Airport opened for the first time, and Diego Maradona almost single-handedly disposed of England from the World Cup in Mexico.
But as Ireland welcomed to the world such talents as that lad Donal Skehan from the telly, Brazil awoke to the talents of a 19-year-old man known as 'King Kazu', who signed his first ever professional contract with Santos. The Japanese striker went on to become Japan's first true footballing icon. His Asian Footballer of the Year award in 1993 - Japan's first ever - coincided with the launch of the J-League, and Kazu went on to represent his country on 89 occasions, netting 55 times for the Samurai Blue.
His career in the J-League was interspersed with spells in Europe - including one trial at Bournemouth in the '90s - but since 2005 (when he was 38 years old), he's remained at Yokohama FC, who currently operate in Japan's second tier.
Last week, Kazu broke Stanley Matthews' record as he became the oldest professional player in the history of football, aged 50 years and 7 days, as he started Yokohama's 1–1 draw against V-Varen Nagasaki (Matthews' record dated back to 1965, when he was two days younger than Kazu is now).
Today, however, Miura went one better, scoring the only goal in Yokohama FC's 1-0 win over Thespa Kusatsu, and in dong so becoming the oldest goalscorer in the history of professional football. And he even broke out his famous "Kazu dance" for good measure.
— かっちゃん (@jubiloman10) March 12, 2017
Miura is now into the 32nd year of his professional career, and in January signed a new contract which will see him continue to play for Yokohama as he embarks on his sixth decade on this weird planet. Fair balls to him.