Football

Poppy Analysis: Ian Wright's Giant Poppy Wins Him The Most Patriotic Patriot Award

Poppy Analysis: Ian Wright's Giant Poppy Wins Him The Most Patriotic Patriot Award

On a night of remembrance at Wembley, Scotland forgot how to defend from crosses. At the time of writing they are 3-0 down and they look ready and willing to concede more.

But the football was really a sideshow on a night when it was all about the poppies. We can expect the English tabloid press to perform a fuller analysis of the poppies on show in tomorrow's editions. Those whose poppies weren't loud or bombastic enough can expect to receive a modest public hate campaign being mounted in their direction.

One man on the ITV panel doesn't have to worry. Ian Wright's poppy marked him out as the most patriotic patriot who ever shut his eyes while singing God Save the Queen.

His tribute was an aggressive two-fingered salute to the meddlers of FIFA who tried to enforce the rule for which the FA had previously lobbied and sought to stop the teams from wearing poppies.

Ian Wright poppy

Beside him, Ryan Giggs wore a minuscule pin poppy which those of poor eyesight would have required a magnifying glass to spot. We've no doubt he must have gulped audibly when he saw what the man seated to his left was sporting.

Fortunately for Ryan, Lee Dixon was wearing a similarly tiny poppy pin.

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Ian Wright poppy

Those papery poppies worn by the England and Scotland managerial staff were not in fashion in the ITV studio. Ally McCoist's poppy, modest and respectful in size, was a cuddly, soft one.

mccoist

While Wright will win kudos from the tabloids who like their poppies to be worn loudly and proudly, he copped a bit of flak from the unpatriotic leftie scum on Twitter who sneered at his patriotism.

 

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Glib & Shameless Liar voiced his approval of Wright's tribute to the fallen.

The next time England play on 11 November, Wrighty will no doubt be wearing a giant poppy head-piece, not dissimilar to those daffodil yokes that Welsh people wear when they're at rugby matches or at stag parties in foreign countries.

Read more: WATCH: Both National Anthems Booed At Wembley Before England-Scotland

Conor Neville
Article written by
Perennial finalist in stand-up comedy competitions and former Contract Lawyer/ Coal Salesman with Corless, Corless and Sweeney

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