Power Ranking The Most Despicable Celebrations Of Euro 2016

Power Ranking The Most Despicable Celebrations Of Euro 2016

It's too easy to be cynical and jaded. The entire realm of online discussion seems to be built around the need to be permanently more enlightened than whatever the cause du jour may be. Listen up people, it's okay to be happy every now and again. Appearing like an uppity gobshite so that someone on the other side of the Twittersphere thinks that you're hot-take on Irish fans changing a tyre is refreshingly droll really isn't that impressive.

Now that we've got that out of the way, Antoine Griezmann's irreverent dance celebration needs to crawl off into a hole and die.

So, with that in mind, here's the ultimate power ranking of celebration shithousery at Euro 2016.

3 - Daniel Sturridge

We're including this because (a) we needed a top 3 to make it at least borderline comprehensive, (b) it's too similar to Griezmann's not to be in some way seen as a pre-cursor and (c) Gareth Bale didn't manage to get around to doing that horrendous love-heart thing (the team formation in the shape of a love-heart deserves a more thorough rant elsewhere)

Back to Sturridge. You have to ask yourself, in a moment like that one, how is it possible not to lose yourself completely and forget to do your little brand-reinforcing dance?

A lukewarm 5/10 on the despicable-o-meter.


2 - Antoine Griezmann

What in the name of all that is holy is a 'hotline bling'?

The kids these days do be up to all sorts of nonsense with their Snoopy Snoop Dawg and other such recording artists that are culturally relevant at the moment but we have to put our foot down when that carries over to the world of football.

For those that have yet to hear, Antoine Griezmann's horrendous chicken head phone call dance is a tribute to Drake and the song 'Hotline Bling'. There's just no place for that kind of carry-on in football. Sorry Antoine, you seem like a lovely chap and we're not even angry at you for those goals against Ireland but it's just not right.

In despicable terms, a solid 8/10.


1 - Cristiano Ronaldo

It's much too easy to view the world in terms of black and white, good and bad, Messi and Ronaldo.

Grey is a perfectly valid colour and, in that sense, it must be said that Cristiano Ronaldo has many admirable qualities. His blind desire to be the best is quite unlike anything we've seen and, at times, it's a remarkably positive trait.

But then he fires his 694th straight free kick into a wall and you just can't help but think, 'do you really have to be such a prick?'

We could extoll his virtues for as long as possible (and we have before) but for now let's just focus on the negatives. Case in point that sickening celebration against Wales. It began as celebrations should, they cheered, the team came together and then they started to walk away.

And left to his own devices, it was Ronaldo's time to shine.

In a word, despicable. A perfect 10/10. Well done Cristiano, you're the best.

Gary Reilly

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