Will this infernal transfer window ever open already?! I feel like a feral dog who has been caged and deprived of freedom as I wait for overly sensible Chris Hughton to do something, anything in the market. Anyway, here are the Premier League transfers your club are hoping to make.
31-year-old defender Laurent Koscielny could be on his way to AC Milan. Barcelona's interest in Cedric Soares could be good news, as the Gunners are keen to hold onto Hector Bellerin.
The Cherries are yet to nail down a deal for Nathan Ake but are feeling confident of doing so, while wage demands have put them off Jermain Defoe, as have West Ham.
Brighton & Hove Albion
Three days into this week and still not a peep from the Seagulls.
Jon Walters is supposedly the subject of a derisory bid from the Clarets, according to the Stoke Sentinel. Josh Ginnelly has extended his loan spell at Lincoln City.
Voetbal International reckon Frank De Boer wants a reunion with Ajax youngster Kenny Tete.
Fenerbahce are thinking about making a bid for Kevin Mirallas. The Sun believes they will also beat Man United to the signing of Michael Keane, while they seem to have beaten West Brom and West Ham to Nigerian wonderkid Henry Onyekuru.
Centre-back Michael Hefele will be offered a new deal to fend off a host of Championship clubs.
Nampalys Mendy wants to head to Ligue 1 side Bordeaux. The Foxes are trying to sign Jordan Amavi from Aston Villa, but so are PSG and Sevilla.
Mamadou Sakho is back training at Liverpool for pre-season, but surely won't be around for long. The club apparently want £30 million for the defender, whose relationship with Jurgen Klopp broke down last year.
The Citizens have signed one of Barcelona's hottest youth prospects, and are closer to getting Dani Alves after he penned a farewell letter to the Juventus fans. Ousmane Dembele is also on their radar.
Alvaro Morata is apparently desperate to push a move through, but The Mirror believes the move has stalled due to Real Madrid's £80 million valuation. The Independent says they're going to go for Fabinho, despite already landing Nemanja Matic. That could be bad news for Darmian.
Tim Krul is off to France apparently, which could be good news for ireland international Rob Elliot.
The Saints have joined a host of clubs chasing Boro's Ben Gibson.
A new goalie to eventually replace Jack Butland, if and when he leaves for bigger things?
— StokeonTrentLive (@Sotlive) June 28, 2017
Jefferson Montero is heavily linked with a move to Sporting CP in Lisbon, while Wales Online believe the Swans will sign Roque Mesa from Las Palmas.
The Daily Mirror says Toby Alderweireld is wanted by Internazionale, which is odd because they need to balance their accounts by the end of the month or else Financial Fair Play clamps down on them. They also want Cedric Soares from Southampton, but so do Barcelona and Juventus.
Craig Cathcart signed a new deal this week.
...and here's why! ??
Delighted to announce Craig Cathcart has signed a new four-year deal with #watfordfc.
— Watford FC (@WatfordFC) June 28, 2017
Southampton are close to selling Jay Rodriguez for £14 million.
The Hammers are putting all their eggs in the Olivier Giroud basket after losing out on Henry Onyekuru and apparently aren't keen on paying Jermain Defoe's wage demands.
- AC Milan continue to run themselves like an absolute shit show, this time by signing Fabio Borini from Sunderland, who is due for a medical tomorrow.
- Leeds United are close to signing Werder Bremen goalkeeper Felix Wiedwald.
- Torino have a big signing in the form of Salvatore Sirigu on a free from PSG, confirming what we had already expected that Joe Hart would be turning his loan move into a permanent deal.