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Man Rushed To Hospital With Acute Premier League Withdrawal Syndrome

Man Rushed To Hospital With Acute Premier League Withdrawal Syndrome
By Eoin Lyons

A man in his thirties has been rushed to the Mater Hospital after collapsing following what doctors have described as 'acute Premier League withdrawal syndrome'.

Thomas Greene of Blanchardstown, Dublin 15 was said to have taken a turn after he realised there were no Premier League fixtures this coming weekend, the league having finished the previous Sunday.

Greene's girlfriend Sarah promptly phoned the emergency services who sent an ambulance to pick up the Dubliner. When the medics arrived Greene was in a fever, frantically trying to change his fantasy team.

The lifelong Spurs fan was sweating profusely as he tried to change his captain from Paul Pogba to Christian Eriksen. Greene was also trying to assemble an accumulator when medics entered his home around 5pm this evening.

When Greene was informed by medics that the season had already reached its conclusion and that he would have to wait three months until the next Premier League fixture the 34-year-old fainted instantly, with medics having to act immediately in order to stop the Spurs fan from swallowing his tongue.

Greene was brought to the Mater Hospital where he was immediately put in a medically induced coma and is likely to be kept in that state until the World Cup starts in a months time.

In the wake of the incident doctors have been urging the rest of the footballing public that might be suffering from similar symptoms to try and wean themselves onto other football leagues such as the Norwegian Tippeligaen, the Chinese Super League or even the League Of Ireland if it happens to be on the telly.



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