Football

9 Reasons You Actually Hate New Zealand

9 Reasons You Actually Hate New Zealand

Ask some fans and they'll tell you this match against New Zealand tonight is a waste of time. A friendly just a few days before our incredibly important Euro 2020 qualifier against Denmark. But ladies and gentleman, let us tell you an absolute fact of life - there are no friendlies between Ireland and New Zealand in November.

This is a test match and we need to be ready. With that in mind, we thought we'd really stoke the flames before this incredibly important tie by asking Balls readers what really grinds their gears about the All Blacks ... wait no ... the All Whites ... Just make up your goddamn mind already!

 

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Adam Rowan writes:

It's just the sheer haka them as a nation.

Adam has since been blocked by all of Balls.ie's social media channels.

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Michael Darcy says:

Thanks for James Lowe. You're never having him back.

That's some welcome fighting talk but not really a reason to hate New Zealand I suppose.

GAA Gods reflected the opinion of many when they said:

They took back the Barretts and they could’ve played for Ireland or Meath gaa.

To be fair, even the New Zealanders don't deserve the indignity of having to play football for Meath.

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On Twitter, Stephen McConkey was not alone in his jealousy outrage at New Zealand being selected as the filming location of the Lord of the Rings.

Just because Adam Cassidy targeted the low hanging fruit it didn't make his point any less valid.

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Meanwhile Declan Carroll gave the most cutting critique of the Haka we've seen to date.

The Haka is nothing but a poor mans Siege Of Ennis

But the real villian of this piece has yet to be revealed ... Steve Walsh!

Shane Apples O'loughlin: Stephen Walsh. That showboating New Zealand rugby referee who I think officiated under the Australian rugby union who's hair was always more silky smooth and visible than mine. Never liked him.

The real problem with New Zealand is when you look under the hood. Sure, on the face of it they seem nice. Their country is beautiful and their manners sublime but there's more to New Zealand than meets the eye. As Balls reader Mike Breen points out:

They've never disclosed what was wrong with the old Zealand after they rebranded the entire country. What are they hiding?

Finally, Shane Hickey explains why this match is even more important than we first imagined.

My kiwi gf promised me "chance to name our first born son" if ireland beat New Zealand....she meant the rugby....I thought to myself the footie.....I will name him after Irelands first goalscorer!!!! Although I quite liked bundee or Jacob but il settle for a James...a Conor or TROY!!! I need this!!!!

COME ON IRELAND!

Also, congratulations to our competition winner, Declan Carroll.

See Also: "I Think The Crowd Would Really Love It And We'd Be Better That Way"

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