Football

8 Things Irish Fans Can Do To Disrupt Denmark Ahead Of Crunch Qualifier

8 Things Irish Fans Can Do To Disrupt Denmark Ahead Of Crunch Qualifier

In the volcanic fallout from the playoff defeat to France, Irish fans united in righteous anger and tried to get back at the French. Some of this didn't really work. One irate caller phoned Joe Duffy and called for a boycott of Cuisine de France.

This bold call to arms was sadly undermined by the fact that it is an Irish company. So now is a time to rectify our mistakes.

While that night in Paris was ten years ago, we have a much more recent history with Denmark. This is a team who hammered us in a World Cup play-off two years ago, and one that has hardly been the complimentary of Ireland in the intervening 24 months.

We've had enough. If you want to rattle the Danes ahead of tomorrow night, this is the way to go about it.

Shout back at a Viking Splash Tour 

For too long the symbol of the warmongering and imperial Scandanavians, the Viking Splash Tour, has been allowed to insolently tear about the streets of Dublin, wantonly shouting at unsuspecting pedestrians, cyclists, and news reporters. Now is the time to take a stand.

So to you, the noble Irish fan, we beseech you to take arms against this sea-faring trouble and roar back. (The wearing of novelty hats for this is optional).

Advertisement

Picket Dublinia

For too long Dublinia has been allowed to spread its (admittedly historically accurate, educational and interactive) Viking propaganda unhindered.

Satirise the legacy of the Danish Nobel Prize Winning Physicist Neils Bohr 

How about we rename him Neils Bore? That'll get to them.

Disabuse Great Danes of their arrogance and superiority complex 

They are a fine dog, but worthy of the word 'great'? From henceforth this breed of dog shall be known as a No Great Shakes Dane.

Advertisement

Quietly invade their television shows

Motion to replace the knitted jumpers in The Killing with Aran Jumpers.

Invite Caroline Wozniacki to a party but revoke the invite at the eleventh hour 

Sorry. Too easy.

Move the game to the Cricket Club in Clontarf 

It might unnerve them.

Declare war on them (again)

You may be unaware of this, but there has been an order on the Irish statute books declaring war on Denmark since 1666. The then Minister for Brendan Howlin launched a consultation process in 2014 aiming to get rid of more than 4,500 antiquated orders and laws dating from before 1820, with the declaration of war on Denmark among them.

We're not sure whether or not they were ultimately removed, so we could either reinstate that order for a few weeks or, if it's still there, underline it a bit.

See Also: Ireland Guaranteed Euro 2020 Playoff Place If They Do Not Beat Denmark

Balls Team

You may also like