Alexis Sanchez has got cold feet about his move to Manchester United in more ways than one. He wants out of Old Trafford, and a piece by Paul Hirst in The Times today fleshes his underlying reasons out to the point of handy metaphor.
In one section of the respected fanzine United We Stand, it is claimed that Sánchez even complained to club staff about his legs getting cold because of a fridge placed next to his locker in the dressing room.
Sanchez' reasons for being unhappy at United are myriad, according to the piece, and they do extend beyond the chilling of the dressing room. As has been previously been reported, he has been distinctly unimpressed with the style under Jose Mourinho, but given that he could have moved to City and played under Pep Guardiola if he lowered his wage demands and knew what he was likely to get with Mourinho, it is difficult to be too sympathetic over that.
There are a few other reasons, however: bar Mata, De Gea and Lukaku he has few friends in his dressing room, while he is also thought to miss the "bustle" of living in the centre of London. That he does is unsurprising: one of the main reasons he picked Arsenal over Liverpool in 2014 was supposedly because he preferred living in the centre of London to Merseyside.
PSG is mentioned as his preferred destination now, because he quite fancies moving back to a major European capital.
It has become the classic story of rich man becomes lonely and bored despite his enormous wealth, and throughout many of United's games this season, he has been about as present at the heart of things as Gatsby was at his parties.
After his ludicrous unveiling video, however, there is a better cultural reference point for Alexis. He will soon end up like one of the drummers in Spinal Tap: turns up, plays instrument....disappears.
The full piece is available here.