Diminutive Japanese playmaker and current darling of hipster Man United fans Shinji Kagawa was ruled out of his sides loss to Newcastle yesterday because according to manager David Moyes, he ate too much and had to have his stomach pumped. Speaking to reporters after Newcastle inflicted yet another defeat for the embattled Scotsman Moyes said:
"Shinji was very sick after the Everton game and he did a bit of training on Friday but he was low. All of the stats that we look at were low so we felt we had better not take a risk in case we got an injury by playing him."
It was a bad sickness. He thinks he ate too much, and he had to get his stomach pumped, but I think he is okay"
One struggles to comprehend just how much Kagawa must have eaten before he realized that perhaps he was reaching bursting point. He now has the unenviable stat line of 0 goals, 0 assists and one stomach pumped this season.