• Home
  • /
  • Football
  • /
  • Watch: Sky Sports News' Transfer Deadline Day Coverage Hits Absurd New Low

Watch: Sky Sports News' Transfer Deadline Day Coverage Hits Absurd New Low

Gavin Cooney
By Gavin Cooney
Share this article

We interrupt this bright-yellow orgy of excess and human resources to bring you some Ancient Greek. The word 'chaos' originally meant a 'gaping void' or 'yawning emptiness'. This meant that the best way to counter chaos has been to fill it: it's why artists feel themselves to be so important.

Sky Sports News have responded to their own self-created chaos by filling the air with shite. About eight years ago, Sky accidentally hit upon the fact that there was some TV in this deadline day business, as Dimitar Berbatov joined Manchester United and Robinho randomly showed up at Manchester City.

The problem with the last few deadline days has been the fact that often, very little happens, with much of the live drama surrounding Saido Berahino sitting in a car park, contemplating life.


So in order to fill the considerable and heavily-advertised air time, they have to fill it with anything they can. As a result, this afternoon they have turned into conspiracy theorists, pointing their cameras to they sky in a bid to capture and report on any flying objects they can find, like a 1980s American teenage with a tin foil hat searching anxiously for UFOs.

Earlier today, Sky filmed a helicopter flying around the London airspace, and speculated that it might be David Luiz landing to re-sign with Chelsea. Speculation was all it amounted to, hilariously asking the viewer WHO IS THIS?:

Twenty minutes later, Sky confirmed that it wasn't actually Luiz, but was just somebody in a helicopter:

It's nearly over.


See Also: Transfer Deadline Day Live Blog: All The Comings And Goings, Minus The Yellow Ties

See Also: One Aspect Of Arsene Wenger's Management At Arsenal Has Left Patrick Vieira 'Disgusted'


Join The Monday Club Have a tip or something brilliant you wanted to share on? We're looking for loyal Balls readers free-to-join members club where top tipsters can win prizes and Balls merchandise

Processing your request...

You are now subscribed!

Share this article

Copyright © 2024. All rights reserved. Developed by Square1 and powered by PublisherPlus.com