Earlier today, we brought you the highly entertaining news that Stan Collymore 'accidentally' tweeted a picture of a private conversation he had with indifference's Joleon Lescott.
Just how bloody obvious Lescott's abhorrently disinterested disposition is one of the more remarkable stories of the Premier League season, with the general reaction that he is ill-befitting of such a storied club. The bitter irony is that the institution is full of players and directors befitting the club's nickname of the Villains as Randy Lerner has rivaled Lescott for levels of disillusion this season, a disenchantment that has left Villa fans watching the likes of Jores Okore fulfill stupefying levels of incompetence.
Collymore's column today for Boylesports has found a new villain: Gabby Abonglahor. The forward has been at Villa since 1994, but in Collymore's opinion he has grown too comfortable at the club. Comfortable is soon revealed to be a euphemism for fat:
Gabby Agbonlahor, a player who’s been cosseted in a Premier League club bubble on too much money for too long, and indulged in his excess by every one of the last four Villa managers, leading to a Premier League striker, in April, yes April, being ordered to have a personal training programme.Why? Because Gabby, you're fat.
Collymore goes on to make a series of unflattering comparisons between Villa and Leicester City, including a juxtaposition between the hardworking Marc Albrighton, and Jack Grealish, saying that the former Irish underage international has great talent but has "infected by the ‘couldn’t give a shit’ attitude of the seniors".
The TALKSPORT presenter then uses his column to plead for a job at Villa, a role encompassing scouting, player liason and youth team advocate.
Read the entire column here.