A spectacular article appeared on The Guardian's website today that perfectly reflected the apathy in what was an unusually slow week for transfer news.
Clearly Guardian writer Ian McCourt has fallen out of love with the art of rounding-up transfer news from around the World and squeezing them into a regular round-up known as 'The Mill', and that was made blatantly obvious as the article offers facts about Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Rafa Benitez, and a lot of snoring.
Here are some of the highlights:
Here are some mildly interesting things you probably didn’t know about Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The final scene was set in spring but filmed in autumn. That meant various members of the crew had to take spray paint to the yellowing leaves to give them a flush of spring. Rob Lowe, John Cusack, Jim Carrey, Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise, Robert Downey Jr and Michael J Fox were all considered for the role of Ferris Bueller. Ferris may not be happy that he does not have a car but that synthesiser he has in his bedroom – an E-MU Emulator II no less – cost $8,000 back in 1984. Why is the Mill telling you this, you’re wondering. Because it’s the Mill’s favourite film and it is so bursting with knowledge of it that it wants to share it all to the world? Eh, not quite (that’s The Guns of Navarone, by the way). Because it wants you have some a fact or two to please a companion around the fire at the club? Hmm, not really. Because it’s using it as useful bluster to fill up some space and cover up for the fact that there is not much tittle-tattle to tittle-tattle about? Bingo! You can see for yourself below.
Meanwhile, Paul Pogba ... zzz ... Manchester City ... zzz ... Manchester United ... zzz ... £70m ... zzz.
Up in Liverpool, Brendan Rodgers has just put down the phone. He did so with a polite goodbye but once the receiver was safely back in its cradle, he kicked the desk very hard. The result? A very sore big toe that led to Brendan hopping around the room and swearing like a sailor whose bezkozyrka has just been blown overboard. The reason? Southampton said that while a neatly-stacked pile of £10m did look delightful, they believe that Nathaniel Clyne is worth another £5m more. Brendan was sure that £10m would be enough and that the extra could £5m could be spent on having his best quotes painted onto the walls around Anfield. He may have to ditch that idea now. Sigh. Poor Brendan.
It's a wonderfully funny pisstake of the usual transfer rubbish, and you can read it in full here. We highly recommend that you do.