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The Lifestyle Of FIFA's Corrupt Informer Contains One Unbelievably Hilarious Detail

The Lifestyle Of FIFA's Corrupt Informer Contains One Unbelievably Hilarious Detail
By Conor Neville
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The thrilling early morning raid by plain-clothed Swiss police saw fourteen high ranking FIFA officials taken from their hotel room and covered by white sheets as they were shunted into police cars outside.

They are to be extradited to the United States on federal corruption charges. High profile names among those collared include the vice-President Jeffrey Webb and Roy Keane's old enemy Jack Warner.

The charges are underpinned by an FBI investigation which alleges widespread corruption over the past two decades.

It's worth remembering that none of these scenes could have been possible without the help of FIFA's Judas-in-Chief Chuck Blazer.

If Martin Amis decided to people one of his novels with an obese American administrator, he'd probably give him a name like Chuck Blazer.

In 2011, Mr. Blazer was apprehended by the FBI while in transit to a top-dollar Manhattan restaurant via his mobility scooter. His mode of vehicular transport on this as on many other occasions was prompted by his engorged waistline, which makes it hard for him to walk medium length distances in comfort.

The Feds confronted him with a sobering document indicating that he failed to pay tax on millions of dollars accrued via a range of mysterious activities over the past decade. He also failed to declare any income between 1992 and 1998.


Chuck thought long and hard and decided to turn informer on his former comrades.


The FBI fitted a bugging device onto his key fob, which he was to place, with the requisite inconspicuous nonchalance, onto the kitchen table while chewing the fat with other big swinging dicks from FIFA.

Apparently, the recordings of these conversations contained enough juicy bits to bring about the glorious events of today.


Mr. Blazer's lifestyle, which made Charlie Haughey look like a model of humble, ascetic frugality, has emerged as a particular fascination.

As reported in the New York Daily News last November, he ran up a bill of $29 million in credit card charges. Blazer also naturally has more than the one property.

He owns one luxury Trump Towers apartment in which he lives, eats and sleeps. But he has another luxury Trump Towers apartment for his cats to do likewise.


For his cats.

The reports from New York indicated that the cats themselves were 'unruly', which may or may not lead you to think that it was sensible of Blazer to seek alternative accommodation for them, however opulent and grandiose.

The apartment that housed the cats reportedly cost Blazer $6,000 a month.


Read more: John Delaney Shows Staggering Lack Of Self-Awareness In Interview About Sepp Blatter


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