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The Ultimate List Of Sports Stars Who Don't Look Like Sports Stars

The Ultimate List Of Sports Stars Who Don't Look Like Sports Stars
By Conor Neville
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In honour of the inspirational Steve McNulty, we have decided to honour some of the world's most unlikely looking sportspeople of all time. We live in a sad era of regimented gym and dietary programmes. Most sportsmen now look roughly the correct shape. Those that even deviate slightly are deemed 'fat.'

Well, here are ten of the oddest looking sportspeople of all time. Prop forwards from the 1980s are excluded.

1. Micky Quinn

By all accounts, the inspiration for the first known rendition of 'Who Ate All The Pies', the former Newcastle United and Coventry City striker's career may have lasted into the very early days of the Sky Sports era but his appearance is pure 1980s English football. To see him powering in goals from close range with his thick moustache, his ample belly and his determinedly unfashionable haircut evokes images of dreary, windswept terraces, muddy pitches, long balls and the Big Match on ITV.


2. Alan Cork (circa 1993)

While every second rugby player now sprouts a massive beard for the purposes of primeval intimidation/superstition, Sheffield United's Alan Cork is one of the few association footballers to go down this route. Cork was Wimbledon's record cap holder, being there for the duration of their epic journey up the English football League in the 80s. Balding and in the twilight of his career he left for Sheffield United, by then still proudly in the top flight, in 1992.

For the Blades' 1993 FA Cup run, he grew a remarkably full beard the likes of which top rank English football had never seen before. By the time they reached the Wembley semi-final, it had sprouted into something quite beautiful. The whole of the internet can only regret that it happened in 1993. Combined with his balding Bobby Charlton haircut, he looked like the oldest footballer ever to play at Wembley, at least 50. To make matters better he scored that day. Sadly, Sheffield United were beaten 2 - 1 by their hated rivals Wednesday.


3.  Abel Xavier

Abel Xavier looks like the kind of footballer kids create when they're dicking around on FIFA. A Portugese full back, he played for both Everton and Liverpool in the early 00s.  In 2009, he went down the old Cat Stevens route, converted to Islam and changed his name - to Faisal Xavier.

4. Craig Stadler

Even by the lax standards of golf, which has traditionally had an admirable record on body fascism (though in recent years, a grouping we will collectively call 'young golfers' have increasingly gone down the gym bunny route), Stadler has a striking look about him. His wide frame does not make him a novelty on the fairways. However, this combined with his Victorian looking bushy moustache, allowed 'the Walrus' to stand out. His Masters victory in 1982 was marked by a choke - his own. He led by five with a few holes left and succeeded winning by one. Still, like the Dubs in 1995 and the All Blacks in 2011, he got the job done.




5. Neil Ruddock

He looked less like a footballer than a cockney gangster's slow witted henchman, but Razor Ruddock was an Anfield cult hero during Liverpool's worst era. Ruddock later successfully applied to become a celebrity and was in 'I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of here' where he put in a good shift. He used to appear as a talking head on those 'D'you remember football in the 90s' shows that BBC3  used to put on.




6. George Foreman (circa 1994)

The World Heavyweight Championship of the World was handed out to a good few people while Mike Tyson was in jail. Evander Holyfield, Riddick Bowe, and Michael Moorer all held the title of undisputed World Champion. Well in 1994, 20 years after he was knocked to the canvas in the Rumble in the Jungle, Foreman was back fighting for the World title.


A tad squidgy, and looking like one of the grown-ups in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, the old man could still pack a fierce punch. World champion Moorer danced around him for 9 rounds, and was ahead on every judges' reckoning. However, Foreman caught him with one big one in the tenth round. Moorer hit the deck, knocked out.

Incredibly,  at the age of 45, Foreman was World Champion again.




7. Dennis Taylor

Snooker has had its fair share of unlikely looking 'sportsmen,' particularly in the 80s. Willie Thorne was balding with a theatrical little moustache, Joe Johnson was a rotund chap in with curly hair, while Terry Griffiths looked like a weedy vicar. But the winner is Taylor with his joke shop, upside down spectacles.


8. Niall Sheridan

Sheridan was Longford's menacing full forward for many years during the late 90s until the mid-00s . Not many people know that he also played League of Ireland soccer for Longford Town (pre Stephen Kenny era)  However, almost everyone recalls him from this famous photo.

9. Jared Lorenzen

The former New York Giants quarterback has been dubbed 'Hefty Lefty'. Lorenzen is not afflicted by a mild paunch that is merely inconvenient for a sportsman. Even by the standards of a wholly sedentary individual, Lorenzen is a very fat man indeed. He is surprisingly nimble on his feet, and unsurprisingly difficult to sack when people get hold of him.



10. Billie Jean King

She slightly resembled Wilma in Scooby Doo but Billie Jean King is one of the greatest female tennis players of all time, winning 12 grand slams in the 1960s and 70s. Smallish with ludicrous looking specs, she was one of the cleverest players in Wimbledon history.


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