You could be forgiven for thinking that you are Bill Murray, stuck in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania doomed to live out the same mundane siuations every single day for the rest of your life if you stumbled into the Metro's sports section today, because somehow, someway, there is a Wesley Sneijder to Manchester United rumour lying within.
Every transfer window since 2010 has somehow managed to see an actual article on an actual website pop up linking the Dutch playmaker, now 31 years of age by the way, linked with Manchester United.
Perhaps media outlets in the UK draw straws each year to determine who has to shoehorn Sneijder into Old Trafford in some way, but this transfer window it has been made possible by presuming that Mourinho will take over at United, and bring a star from his Inter days with him.
Jose Mourinho eyeing Wesley Sneijder transfer if he becomes Manchester United manager – report
Former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is already lining up a possible transfer deal for Wesley Sneijder if he takes over from Louis van Gaal at Manchester United.
The Portuguese tactician knows Sneijder, 31, from their time together at Inter Milan, where they struck up a strong working relationship to steer the club to a famous treble win in 2009/10.
Of course, Jose knows Wesley, it all makes too much sense.
Does this mean that Michael Essien too could be set for a sensational return to Premier League football? Jose was always a big fan of Marco Materazzi, and United are light on defenders..
You've got to hand it to them, and The Sun too, where this fresh rumour originated from. They were straight in there before the window even opened, and before Louis Van Gaal has even been sacked as manager, and managed to publish this with a straight face.
By the way, Louis Van Gaal knows Wesley Sneijder too. Funny that.