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The Apparently Very Necessary Analysis Of Man Utd Players' Full Time Reactions

Mikey Traynor
By Mikey Traynor
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Manchester United have a big problem.

They are capable of beating any side on their day, but they are also capable of completely imploding and going down without a whimper in response.

With a squad full of talent and a number of possible starting XI's that had the fans genuinely excited before the season kicked off... How is it that defeats in the same manner as what happened against Chelsea are seemingly so common?

Jose Mourinho does not know his best XI, and he also can't find it because very few players have been consistent enough to warrant his trust. That is the big problem, but there is another issue that is dominating social media, fan forums, and even now traditional media following Ryan Giggs' comments [via ESPN]:

If you get beat 4-0, you congratulate the opposition, you thank the supporters and then you get off the pitch.

You don't stand around on the pitch swapping shirts and laughing with the team that's just beat you.

Everybody knows what this is in relation to.. Zlatan absolutely loving life, swapping shirts with Willian before giving Eden Hazard a great big smiley hug.

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On the flipside, Juan Mata looked like he had just witness a fatal car crash, and wanted the earth to swallow him up. One is OK, one is absolutely not OK.

Ibrahimovic is being criticised, questioned as to whether he cares at all. Mata is being praised, as he clearly feels what the supporters feel.

So if the players' full-time reactions are important, let's have a look at ALL OF THEM IN GREAT DETAIL. This is football in the year 2016.

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic - Delighted with life

Unnacceptable. Zlatan should have run directly to assistant manager Rui Faria to begin analysis on his performance, and where he can improve.

Instead, by smiling when greeting Eden Hazard, who he has never played with at any stage, he proved that he doesn't care about the club, and he probably slagged off Bobby Charlton and George Best too.

What a prick.

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Juan Mata - Full blown existential crisis

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Seconds away from actually bursting into tears, Juan Mata really cares.

His blog is going to be "totes emosh" this week.

Anthony Martial - Unknown

We can't even make anything up here, there is absolutely no way to tell whether or not Anthony Martial is happy or sad, here in this freeze-frame, or at any point in general. The man is neutrality personified.

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Chris Smalling - Physically ill

He looks like he has contracted the flu, which would go some way to explaining his absolute nightmare of a performance.

The camera man panned away very quickly after, so we don't know if he actually did get sick on Victor Moses. Would that have made the fans feel better?

Marcus Rasford - "My Mum made me say goodbye"

He doesn't want to be there, he has been ordered to shake hands with the ref like a moody cousin at a large family gathering.

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He's got FIFA 17 on his iPad in the car and he just wants to get stuck into his Career Mode again.

David De Gea - Not sure if I should laugh or cry

"That fucking fax machine..."

In all seriousness, his reaction to Kante's goal shows that he really does care about the club, but he probably can't believe Marcos Alonso is playing for Chelsea have been involved in relegation dogfights with Bolton and Sunderland, like the rest of us.

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Paul Pogba - Too big for his boots, couldn't give a shit

We can only see the back of his head, but the arrogance of the man shines through.

What a disgrace, look at him there, not a care in the world, knowing full well that Adidas will make a video about overcoming adversity and taking the low points in your stride. #Pogstrong

Clearly, from these images, only Juan Mata cares about the club. He should be sold to someone who will appreciate him, and the rest of the players should be released. Sell the board, sack the chairmain, chase the social media team with pitchforks.

SEE ALSO: Weekend TV Review: Sky vs BT - Whose Premier League Coverage Is Better?

 

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