Why Robbie Keane Will Never Play In Belgium

Donny Mahoney
By Donny Mahoney
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Did anyone else think it was strange that as soon as Robbie Keane arrived on American shores, he dusted off his patented 'cartwheel into blazing pistols' goal celebration? I know a player on his wages requires a fancy goal celebration to arouse soporific American soccer fans, but it seems as if he might have been subconsciously playing both to America's libertarian far right, who hate gun control as much as they hate soccer, not to mention LA's Bloodz and Cripz gang scene. (It's also worth noting that Keane's celebration has evolved from bucolic 'the archer firing a bow' to the Wild West-inspired 'blazing shotguns' over his career. Can you imagine Robbie toting a real gun?)


Anyway, we know now that Keane will never play in Belgium. Fellow Liverpool reject Milan Jovanovic who now plays with Anderlecht has landed himself in all kinds of grief after mock-machine-gunning the Club Brugge fans after scoring a goal in August. He's facing a five-year ban from the Belgian government. Keane's imaginary bullets are aimed more at the heavens, but with the heightened terraces of today's modern stadia, it's easy to picture an innocent fan being caught in the crossfire. Robbie will have to keep his pistols in America.

Which all begs the following question, how did Milan Jovanovic score a goal?




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