A Russian lawmaker has proposed a wholly bonkers solution to potential football hooliganism at the 2018 World Cup in his homeland.
Noted lunatic Igor Lebedev, who sits in the Russian parliament, has suggested that Russia legalise hooliganism and make it into a spectator sport.
Lebedev, a Liberal Democrat, has already drawn up rules for what he calls "draka," - or "fight" in English - which would see 20 fighters on each side, unarmed, beat the living shite out of each other in an arena, in a move which Lebedev genuinely maintains will keep peace on Russian streets.
In a statement on the website of the nationalist LDPR party, Lebedev said organized brawls "could turn fans' aggression in a peaceful direction." He is, of course, totally wrong.
Lebedev genuinely added that it might teach a lesson to the travelling English fans, who he described as undisciplined louts and 'poor fighters'.
"Russia would be a pioneer in a new sport," he writes.
English fans arrive, for example, and start picking fights. And they get the answer — challenge accepted. A meeting in a stadium at a set time.
Indeed, it would appear this fecking madman really has it in for our mates across the Irish Sea. When Russian and English fans clashed for three days straight in Marseille during the Euros, Lebedev infamously tweeted, "Well done, lads! Keep it up!"
Now might be a good time to add that Lebedev also sits on the board of the Russian Football Union, and is a close friend of infaous Russian hooligan Alexander Shprygin, who was deported from France last year following the Marseille riots.
In spite of his astonishingly bad idea regarding hooliganism, and the fact that he patently embraces fan violence, Lebedev has ensured all fans that there will be no trouble at Russia's World Cup:
We've taken all the safety measures, modernized legislation. Not a single tourist has any reason to fear traveling to our country in the summer of 2018.
Except for the English, presumably.