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The Very Worst Brazilians In The Premier League XI

Conor O'Leary
By Conor O'Leary
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Liverpool made one of the biggest signings of the summer today with the announcement that Roberto Firmino will come to Anfield. The midfielder wasn't cheap at a reported £29 million and he'll hope to join Gilberto Silva, Ramires and Juninho as some of the better Brazilians to play in the Premier League.

There have been some terrible Brazilians in the English league though as well, and here is the Worst Brazilian Premier League XI:

GK: Doni - Liverpool

There haven't been many Brazilian goalkeepers in the Premier League. Heurelho Gomes for Spurs, and Julio Cesar for QPR were both decent players, but Doni arrived from Roma after losing his position as Roma's first choice goalkeeper.

Doni played second fiddle to Reina at Liverpool, playing only four games which included a red card on his Liverpool debut.

RB: Glauber - Manchester City

worst brazilian premier league

 

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You'd have thought that most players signed when Manchester City suddenly became rich in August 2008 were good. Pablo Zabelta and Vincent Kompany are City stalwarts, while Sean Wright Phillips and Robinho came in with big reputations, but the odd one out was Brazilian defender Glauber.

Glauber played a grand total of six minutes for City, and was jokingly cheered by City fans every time he touched the ball. He was a cult hero at City, and the substitute's bench is affectionately known as "The Berti" in his honour.

The 31-year-old has been out of football since being released by MLS side Columbus Crew in 2013.

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CB: Cacapa - Newcastle

worst brazilian premier league

 

While there may not have been many expectations for a free transfer signing, but Cacapa represented a new low in the standards of Newcastle's defense that culminated with their unexpected relegation from the Premier League in 2009.

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CB: Roque Junior- Leeds United

worst brazilian premier league

 

The universal worst Brazilian in the Premier League. A highly rated loan signing to Peter Reid's Leeds United, 24 goals conceded in his seven games that also includes a red card. It was a shockingly poor spell for an 48-times international capped defender.

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LB: Andre Santos - Arsenal

worst brazilian premier league

 

In what seemed like a panic move from Arsene Wenger after losing to Liverpool and being hammered by Manchester United 8-2, Arsenal signed Andre Santos along with Per Mertesacker, Mikel Arteta, and Park Chu-Young in the final 24 hours of the summer transfer window.

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Santos is seen as one of Arsenal's worst ever signings, only managing 13 starts in one and a half seasons, and largely underperforming. He never had the backing of the fans, and they turned on him when he infamously swapped shirts with ex-Gunner Robin van Persie at halftime during a league game with Manchester United.

CM: Mineiro - Chelsea

Mineiro was brought to Chelsea by World Cup winning coach Luis Felipe Scolari, who signed the then 33-year-old defensive midfielder as backup to John Obi Mikel when Michael Essien went down injured with a anterior cruciate knee ligament injury.

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Scolari was delighted with the signing of the 23 times capped of the World Cup winner at the time (via BBC):

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I say to fans of Chelsea, if they remember (Claude) Makelele, Mineiro is the same.

Mineiro had one substitute appearance in the league, and his only start came in the league cup. Mineiro moved to Schalke playing seven times before moving down to the German fourth tier to play out his career.

CM: Kleberson - Manchester United

worst brazilian premier league

 

There was a time when Kleberson was seen as the "driving force behind Brazil's (2002 World) cup-winning side, and drew interest from European giants Barcelona, Newcastle United, Leeds United and Celtic. Manchester United eventually signed Kleberson in 2003 for £6.5 million, as a replacement for Juan Sebastian Veron.

Injuries, and a completely different version of the World Cup winning Kleberson blighted his stay at Old Trafford.

RW: Fumaca - Newcastle

Widely known as the Brazilian who couldn't play football. Descriptions like "unable to take a first touch", and "the only player able to fall over the ball when trying to trap it" are regular descriptions of Fumaca's six game stint on Tyneside.

It's perhaps an indictation of his talent that in a career spanning nine years, he played with 13 different clubs playing only 51 games.

LW: Robinho - Manchester City

worst brazilian premier league

 

It all started so well for Robinho with a good first season finishing at their top goal scorer. It seemed clear from the start that Robinho didn't want to be there, especially after his mistake at his unveiling where he said that "Chelsea made a great proposal and I accepted".

Injuries and a loss of form disrupted his second season, and he sought a move away from the club very quickly instead of trying to fight his way back into the team.

It's a bit harsh to include him, but you'd want more for your £33 milllion

ST: Jo - Manchester City & Everton

worst brazilian premier league

 

Jo was a club record £19 million signing for Manchester City before the wealth of the Abu Dhabi investment club arrived. It looked a steal for City for a player who had scored 30 goals for CSKA Moscow in just 52 games.

It didn't continue for Jo, who only scored one league goal for City in his three years and 21 games. Just a year after he was signed for such a big fee, Jo was went out on loan to Everton where he had mixed results in his first spell- scoring five goals in twelve, but bombed when he returned for another loan to Merseyside going goalless in 17 games.

ST: Afonso Alves - Middlesbrough

worst brazilian premier league

 

Afonso Alves cost Middlesbrough a staggering €20 million as a highly rated 27-year-old back in January 2008. Alves was hot property in Europe at the time, coming to the Premier League after dominating the Dutch league, scoring 45 goals in just 39 games for Heerenveen.

It took a while for Alves to score his first goal for Boro, but his brace against Manchester United in April 2008, and a hattrick against Man City at the end of the season made it seem like things were about to kickstart for the Brazilian.

That was to be the highlight. He struggled from the start of the next season. Despite scoring a spectacular free kick against Stoke, Alves missed chance after chance. He never regained the form that earned him the move and was sold to Al-Sadd in 2009.

 

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