Breaking: GAA Lad Dumps His Woman For Championship

Breaking: GAA Lad Dumps His Woman For Championship

The marquee corner forward made the revelation on Twitter last night.

It has been confirmed that a club footballer has decided to gradually fade out a from ‘tipping a young wan from down the town.’ Mattie Regan from the Ballybackward club suffers from chronic championship fever leaving him with no option but to sever the courtship.

In an exclusive interview with Balls, the 24 year-old spoke about his dilemma. He said ‘sure lookit I’m goosed these days between training and helping the oul boy do the silage, that I’ve no energy for the woman. To be honest she has me head melted and if a day goes by and I don’t text, Lord blessus she gets awful froshty. It’s not the right mind frame to have heading into championship so it’s just time to draw a line in the sand.’

The quantity surveying student continued by divulging the strategy which he believes will produce a result that brings the most amount of freedom with minimum grief. ‘Well firstly, I plan to actively continue acting like a prick towards her. Her friends are a mouthy shower so I’m confident they’ll urge her to ‘’have respect for herself’’ and leave me. Sooner or later I’ll wear her down and she’ll have no option but to end it.’’


Mr Regan, who was awarded county trials earlier in the season added that his soon to be ex lady friend, is no longer one of his ‘Best Friends’ on Snapchat and has also decided against liking her recent profile picture change.

‘There’s going to be a rake of tashty beures looking to get a piece of me when we win the championship so it makes sense to put in the prep work now for single pringle life,’ Regan concluded.

More on this as we get it.

Sinead Farrell

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