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Laois GAA Club Beautifully Take The Piss Out Of Dublin Team's Player Contract

Laois GAA Club Beautifully Take The Piss Out Of Dublin Team's Player Contract

Earlier this week a contract which was required to be signed by members of the St. Brigid's senior football panel was leaked online. None of the stipulations within the contract itself were particularly excessive. It being viewed as a necessity and the further erosion of GAA's amateur status was what drew derision.

The notion that GAA was no longer a 'fun' activity was also a point. That, however, is not an accusation which can be aimed at Crettyard GFC.

The St. Brigid's document was always going to be one open to satire. Crettyard have poked fun at their Dublin counterparts and done it well.

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Here's their list of obligations for players this year.

1. EACH PLAYER MUST ARRIVE A FULL 2 HOURS BEFORE THE START OF ANY MATCH (EXCEPT PHILLIP BRENNAN, THE USUAL 5 MINUTES WILL DO YOU)

2. EACH WEEK ON A ROTATIONAL BASIS A PLAYER MUST BRING THE PRO A SNACKBOX DOWN TRAINING

3. ANYONE SEEN CUTTING CORNERS WHILE RUNNING LAPS WILL PAY A FINE OF €7.50 PER CORNER

4. ANYBODY WHO ENCOURAGES SNOWBALL TO SHOOT WILL PAY AN ON THE SPOT FINE OF €100

5. ANYBODY WHO TAKES MORE THAN THERE SHARE OF SAUSAGES/GOUJANS AFTER MATCHES WILL RUN LAPS

6. ATTENDANCE OF ELECTRIC PICNIC THIS YEAR HAS BEEN BANNED. NATHAN CARTERS CONCERTS HAVE BEEN APPROVED WITH THE MANAGERS CONSENT

7. NO SNAPCHATTING/INSTAGRAMMING IN THE DRESSING ROOM WITH YOUR TOPS OFF (SURE YE ARE NOT MODELS)

8. ANY PLAYERS USING THE TERM 'ON IT' WILL BE DROPPED FOR THE NEXT MATCH

9. ANY PLAYER UNDER THE AGE OF 30 WHOS SITS IN HOSEY'S CORNER WILL BE MADE SING 'THUNDERSTRUCK' AT THIS YEARS FUNDRAISER

10. NO HOLIDAYS ALLOWED AT ALL THIS YEAR (SURE CANT YE GO AT XMAS)

11. ANYBODY WHO POSTS ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND DOES NOT FINISH THEIR POST WITH #HONTHEYARD WILL BE BANNED FROM THE CLUB FOR LIFE

See Also: This Dublin Club's Player/Coach Contract Is Proof That GAA Has Gone Too Far

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PJ Browne
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