Paul Kimmage compared himself to Mickey from Woody Allen's film 'Hannah and her Sisters'.
For those who haven't seen, when Mickey heard he wasn't dying from cancer, he was initially thrilled by his reprieve, but soon became convinced of life's meaninglessness. Sure, he wasn't dying now but he died some day and it'd all end. What's the point?
Kimmage is Mickey, according to the man himself.
He was elated the day after watching the Dublin-Kerry semi-final, but a day later bumped into a man, a whistleblower who didn't want to be seen talking to him in public, who told him an "amazing story which goes deep into the heart of Irish sport."
He was back depressed again. He told Matt Cooper's The Last Word that he has two whistleblowers who he's working with in trying to get stories to print. These stories, Kimmage admits, may never see the light of day. "It's one thing being told something, it's another thing getting something to print."
Kimmage was moved to juxtapose the dark underbelly of sport, which he is normally concerned with exposing, with his experience at the All-Ireland hurling final yesterday.
I go yesterday and I'm walking to the ground and I'm filled with this amazing sense of peace and joy. You see the jerseys of the Tipperary and Kilkenny people mingling outside the pubs. I go inside and take my seat in the press box. You're watching as the minor game finishes. Sibeal Ni Chasaide comes out and sings this 'Mise Eire' song and I'm sitting there, spellbound listening to this and bloody tears running down my face. And I'm thinking 'you fool, what a fool, what's wrong with you?'
And the national anthem comes on and I feel this sense of Irishness that is completely irrational. That I'd never feel at any time other than the All-Ireland final. And it's like "wow, isn't it great to be Irish?". What a great country. And it's totally irrational.
And I sit there and they wheel out the '91 (Tipperary) team and they're all there in their lovely suits and they look smashing. And they're all happy to be there.
And the game starts. And it's pure. It's absolutely pure and believable. And everything you dream about sport. Everything that you've dreamt about sport as a kid is unfolding in front of you. You totally buy into this. There's none of the cynicism or the crap or the drugs or the doping that I've had all my life, in 26 years as a reporter, dealing with it. None of that. It's just sport and wonderful. And we get this fantastic match.
And it finishes. And you go down underneath and the press conference starts. And Mick Ryan comes in and he's gracious and humble. Bring in Cody and he's magnanimous and he's humble and brilliant.
And you're thinking "Wow!"And you go outside and I bump into Gerry Grogan, the stadium announcer.
- "And the nights are closing in"
-"It's September"
-Yeah"
-"Jays, isn't it nearly over"
-"Yeah"
-"Isn't it awful?"
And I'm Woody Allen again...(laughs)
Listen from the 22nd minute below:
